Treat yourself to an ice cream sundae? 

Give your mum a hug? 

Cry after reading an ayah of the Qur’an? 

Give dawah to a non-Muslim? 

Spend some time just you and your dad? 

Plant a new plant in the garden? 

Smile at the sky? 

Sit down and inhale slowly? 

Memorise a new surah? 

Dress up for the girls? 

Cook your favourite dish? 

Pause and thank Allah?

Heba Alshareef offers a glimpse into her book, “Release Your Inner Queen of Sheba!” 
 

 My grandmother, may Allah have mercy on her soul, was a seamstress extraordinaire.  In most of my memories of her, she is bent over fine materials, meticulously weaving her needle and thread with the precision of a surgeon.  Her specialty was wedding gowns and she was renowned for her craft, not just amongst family and friends, but also to some of the most wealthy and influential people in Egypt and Europe (or at least their wives). Her stunning designs, attention to detail, and dedication to excellence was unprecedented and likely the reasons why she maintained such an elite clientele.   

The ladies she tailored the gowns for would come in for ‘ajustement’ after ‘ajustement’ (many peppered their Arabic to show off their French), or fittings that stressed the importance of her incredibly high standards.  Between adjustments, my grandmother would put a dress away, refusing to work on it until its owner came in and tried it on.  As a young girl, it was fascinating for me to see the final product, always true works of art, but the lengthy process seemed to take so long, it was almost unbearable.  I could barely wait, and would ask why she just didn't keep going?  Why did she have to wait for the fitting results?  Even the ladies would urge her to continue on, saying that the constant appointments weren’t necessary, that they trusted her to produce perfection.

But she insisted.   There would be no further progress on a gown until the bride came in for the fittings my grandmother requested.  It was her way.  She didn’t know shortcuts.  And she had the experience and foresight that went beyond the impatience of a young girl or an anxious bride.  Oftentimes, the fittings would mean more work for her, seams would have to be taken in or out and alterations could be hazardous to the pattern or the beading.  But the end result was always breathtaking.  Her masterpieces are still being passed down through the generations.

I often wondered how she kept going, even into her seventies, physically frail and after illness had depleted her.  Day in and day out, stitch after stitch, ajustement after ajustement, she kept on.  Have you ever tried producing a wedding gown?  If you’ve attempted to purchase a higher end one, and found the prices shocking, it’s likely so because of the sheer amount of physical labor that is put in and the delicate handiwork involved. 

How did she do it?  She was a testament to the power of motivation.  And I think she can teach aspiring queens of Sheba a thing or two on the subject; specifically how to stay the course, and how to keep at it.  From my recollection (and a few well documented success principles), my grandmother did it by:  

1. Keeping the end in mind. Have a clear picture in your head of what you want to have happen, what you’re working towards.  My grandmother’s sewing room (and much of her home) was storage space for literally hundreds of sewing magazines with full glossy pictures.  Her favorite was the German one Burda and sometimes I thought she kept them just so I could happily pour over them in all hours of the night.  A young girl and fashion magazines can be a lethal combination.  But I digress.  The point is that my grandmother knew how the end gown would look like when it was finally complete.   She knew it because she’d seen it.  It's why she could do a fitting and know precisely whether she was moving towards the precious end product or not. 

2. Remaining focused. When you have committed to doing something, have made it a priority, and are actively working towards attaining it, make sure that you aren't distracted from the goal at hand.  Fight off any temptation to jump to something else or to juggle too much at one time.  My grandmother understood this well.  Sewing was her thing.  She didn’t much know how to cook or clean- and if she was working on getting to a certain point with a gown, there was no way she would put it down until she felt that she’d accomplished what needed to be accomplished for that particular sitting.  Of course, she had her rules.  No sewing on Fridays was the big one.  She’d heard a sheikh say that working on Fridays was forbidden in Islam, and she wouldn’t budge when others tried to clarify that it was only during the Friday prayer times. But honestly, she needed the rest.  And if you’re diligently following the ‘it’s good to be queen’ protocol, then you know that she certainly needed this time.  And if I told you that her favorite gifts to give to others were warm, velvety blankets and fine chocolates, would you believe me?  I kid you not.  Indeed, the things we inherit from our mothers and grandmothers.   

3. Measuring.  Ajustement.  Measuring.  Ajustement.  This is perhaps the most critical point of all, because indeed “that which is measured improves.” Obviously, for a seamstress, the likelihood of how well the dress fits its intended owner is the epitome of whether it’s a success or not.  And the progress from yards of fabric to picturesque gown is something that is visually tangible.  You can literally see the progress.  But for some of our goals, that might not be the case.  We become haphazard and we don’t measure progress that we can’t see.  Unfortunately, this sometimes makes us give up.  If my grandmother had one dress that wasn’t working out - how would she know this?  She’d see it by measuring.  Then she’d have to decide if she could make the necessary adjustments or if she’d have to go back to the drawing board. 

The gown must go on.   

Heba Alshareef is the author of Release Your Inner Queen of Sheba!  Visit her online at www.iamsheba.com

Most of us are feeling the pinch on our purses as food prices rise, along with everything else. SISTERS food writer, Clara McQuaid, has a few economical dinner ideas that you will surely look forward to after a hard day.

A Twist on Pasta Bake
Lots of veg, loads of taste and as filling as can be, this is a step away from the regular tomato and cheese combinations of pasta bakes. Although a few vegetables are listed here, you can easily add or substitute with whatever you have on hand.

Serves 4

Ingredients
½ tsp olive oil
150g fusilli or macaroni
1 bunch spring onions, chopped
85g frozen or canned sweetcorn
85g frozen peas
1 red pepper, deseeded and chopped
2 large eggs
150ml semi-skimmed milk
50g mature cheddar, grated
2 tbsp finely grated parmesan

Method
Heat oven to 190C/fan 170C/gas 5.
Grease a 1.2 litre baking dish with the olive oil.
Cook the pasta in salted boiling water in a large pan for 8 mins.
Add all the vegetables and cook for another 2-3 mins until the pasta is tender and the vegetables are slightly softened.
Drain, then tip into the baking dish and mix well. Beat together the eggs and milk in a jug.
Mix the two cheeses together and add most of it to the egg mixture and season with a seasoning of your choice.
Pour into the baking dish and stir gently. Lastly, scatter the remaining cheese on top.
Bake for 35-40 mins until set and golden. Leave to cool for a few minutes before serving with a green salad.
 
Risotto
This takes about half an hour to 40 mins to cook and is quite labour intensive as you will be standing and stirring for the entire time, but the results are worth it!.

Serves 4

Ingredients
knob of butter
1 medium onion, finely chopped
250g Arborio rice
Vegetables of your choice
Grated chunk of parmesan (to your taste, I add quite a bit)
1 litre vegetable or chicken stock
Squeeze of lemon juice

Method
Get 2 saucepans on the cooker. In the first you add your stock, keeping it on the edge of simmer. To the other saucepan, add a generous knob of melting butter to which the onion is added. Soften until translucent and sweet.
Add the rice, coating it well in the butter and onion mixture.
Add a ladle or two of the stock, enough to cover the rice and keep it bubbling gently.
Stir continuously until the liquid is reduced and appears creamy. Continue stirring, keeping the mixture to a gentle simmer until the rice is cooked but still has a slight bite. Add the veg with another ladle of stock, stir and allow the mixture to reach a creamy consistency.  Add a squeeze of lemon juice.
Add the parmesan and stir well. Season with salt and pepper.
Serve with salad/bread.

*For mushroom risotto, add sliced mushrooms after you have softened the onion, along with a few teaspoons of olive oil. After the mushrooms are sautéed, add the rice and proceed as above.

Chilli Con Carne
This is a fast and satisfying evening meal that can be made in larger quantities and frozen. You may want to rethink the chilli measurements (I have been know to omit it entirely) if you have delicate little sprogs to think of. Regardless, it tastes great both ways.

Serves 4 adults

Ingredients
1 tbsp oil
1 large onion
2 red peppers
2 garlic cloves, peeled
1 heaped tsp hot chilli powder (or less if you prefer mild)
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp ground cumin
500g lean minced beef
1 beef stock cube
400g can chopped tomatoes
1 tsp sugar
2 tbsp tomato purée
410g can red kidney beans
soured cream (optional) and plain boiled rice to serve

Ingredients
Dice the onion as small as you can. Cut the pepper into bite size chunks.
Heat the oil and cook the onion for 5 minutes, or until they are soft and slightly translucent. Tip in the garlic, red pepper, chilli, paprika and cumin. Give it a good stir, then leave it to cook for another 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Next, brown the mince. Turn the heat up a notch, add the meat to the pan so it's sizzling and break it up with your spoon. Keep stirring for at least 5 minutes, until all the mince is separated and there are no pink bits. Make sure you keep the heat high enough for the meat to fry and become brown.

 Dissolve the stock cube into 300ml/1⁄2 pint of hot water and pour into mince mixture. Add the can of chopped tomatoes. Add in the sugar as well as a good shake of salt and pepper. Stir in about 2 tbsp of tomato purée.

Simmer gently at first, gradually bringing to a boil. Stir well and place the lid on the pan. Turn down the heat so that the mixture simmers gently, and leave for leave for 20 minutes, occasionally stirring to ensure that the sauce neither catches at the bottom of the pan nor dries it. The saucy mince mixture should look thick, moist and juicy when done.

Drain and rinse the beans in a sieve and stir them into the chilli mix. Once again, bring to a boil and lower to a gentle bubble, without the lid, for 10 minutes, adding a little more water if it looks too dry. Taste a bit of the chilli and season.

Replace the lid, turn off the heat and leave the chilli to stand for a further 10 minutes before serving to allow the flavours to mingle.
Bismillah!

On January 25, 2007, the town council of Hérouxville, Canada, adopted a "code of conduct," informing immigrants of standards of behaviour expected of them.  No face coverings in public except at Halloween.  No public stoning or burning of women.  No female circumcision.  Women had the right to drive. Many of the standards were clearly based on stereotypes of Muslims, but the local politicians also tossed in a few barbs aimed at Jews and Sikhs.  For a group of Canadian Muslimahs armed with baklava, this was the cue to begin dialogue, reports Reuel S. Amdur.

In order to understand why the code was created, we need to know a bit more about Hérouxville and Quebec.  With very few exceptions, the residents of the town of Herouxville are white (there is one black family), native-born, Catholic, and French-speaking.  The town is 1300 strong, some distance from urban centers.  There are no Muslims in Hérouxville and no flood of immigrants of any sort looking to move there. 

On the other hand, Quebec culture is changing.  The role of the Catholic Church has been severely diminished.  Large urban centres are receiving newcomers from around the world, resulting in changes to social values and to laws.  While Hérouxville still lumbers on more or less as always, its people are hearing through the media about the changing nature of Quebec society beyond their tight little community.  Those changes are troubling and, while no resident of Herouxville had ever met a Muslim, that was about to change.

The Canadian Islamic Congress asked for a meeting with the town council, and on Sunday, February 11 2008, a group of hijab-clad women drove two hours from Montreal to Hérouxville, where they met with some 75 locals. 

These hijab-clad women did not fit the preconceived notions that the Hérouxville locals had of Muslim women.  They simply did not fit the stereotype.  Far from being kept ignorant and oppressed, these were Ph.D.’s and Ph.D. candidates.  Far from being “alien” to French culture, they were led by Dr. Najat Boughaha, whose Ph.D. is in French literature.  The people of Hérouxville were forced to think again. 

These strangers brought Arab delicacies such as baklava as well as arts and crafts and books for the local library, books about the role of women in Islam and about Islamic philosophy.  Dr. Boughaha and her group were greeted with a round of applause when they arrived at the seniors’ centre where the meeting took place.  They told the citizens of Hérouxville that they were hurt by the way in which the code portrayed them and their faith.  They spoke to and answered questions for a largely uninformed audience on Islam and about the cultures of Muslim countries.  The women made a clear distinction between the religion of Islam and the cultural practices in some Muslim countries, practices such as genital mutilation.

The Montreal women succeeded in presenting themselves as real human beings, beyond the stereotypes.  "There was a real exchange," said Dr. Boughaha.  "These were people who reached out to us.  I really think our visit to Hérouxville benefitted both sides."

André Drouin, the author of the code, said defensively that agreeing to the meeting with the women from Montreal proved that Hérouxville is not racist, and the night after the visit the town council amended their code to remove references to stoning women and to female circumcision.  The change, claimed the town fathers, had nothing to do with the visit by the Muslim women. Dr. Boughaha thinks otherwise.

Some Hérouxville women promised to return the favour and share food with the Muslim women. Luce Rivard, André Drouin's wife, while affirming his claim that the town is not racist, spoke of the meeting as "the beginning of a beautiful friendship". 

Most people would react to this kind of slight by mumbling among themselves or avoiding any situation where they might be embarrassed, but these brave women went right into the lion's den.  They came out unscathed, with a bit of the lion's tail as a souvenir.  There are lessons here for all of us.

Way back in 1947, sociologist Robin Williams Jr. produced a volume titled The Reduction of Intergroup Tensions.  In it, he says, “In intergroup relations, as in many others, the ‘propaganda of the deed’ is especially likely to have effects upon attitudes and behaviour.” The visit to Hérouxville with gifts in hand was these Muslimahs’ propaganda of the deed, confronting the local prejudices and stereotypes with living human beings who were a challenge to the preconceived notions.  Most people would feel embarrassed taking part in such direct action but these women were able to gather the internal strength to come face-to-face with people who might hate them in order to win them over.

Muslims are currently the object of prejudice throughout much of the Western world.  Challenging instances of prejudice with face-to-face meetings and baklava, sharing information about beliefs and culture, these are ways of bringing change and understanding, even if the change does not take place all at once.  The Hérouxville code was altered a bit, but it still exists.  Yet there has been a start, thanks to the brave women from Montreal. 

Reuel S. Amdur is a social worker and freelance writer living in Val-des-Monts, Quebec.

You return from your halaqa one day all charged-up about making Hijrah. You ask around for opinions. The responses range from outright ‘no’ to positive thumbs-up, with bitter and sweet stories in-between. In this life-changing journey, the more you learn, the better informed your decisions will be.  Huma Imam gives a brief check list with vital questions to ask before packing your bags.  

INTENTION

1.      Why do I want to make Hijrah?

Question your intention and only proceed after you reach the right answer – for the sake of Allah (SWT). Doing Istikharah before every move will ensure that your intention is on track and that you accept the outcome (good or difficult) of your decision as the Will of Allah (SWT). 

COUNTRY SPECIFICS 

2. Does the country offer citizenship or temporary residency?

Contact the naturalisation and immigration department (through their embassy and websites) to understand eligibility, application procedure and document requirements.

3. How favourable is the general climate of the region in relation to our family’s health?

Some people suffer migraines from the heat of the Gulf countries’ summers; constant switching between air-conditioned indoors and humid outdoors can aggravate skin conditions; heavy pollution or pollen-laden environment negatively impact asthmatics; etc. Health facilities should be taken into consideration if anyone in your family has special medical needs.

 
4. When scheduling relocation, what factors could facilitate or impede a smooth transition for the entire family?

Flying down from cold Canada to the Gulf’s summer heat may be inviting a shocking welcome. Also, consider the beginning of the academic year to ensure less stress for children.        

MAKING A LIVING 

5. What are my job prospects?

Apply through recruitment agencies, multi-national companies with offices in your country and private referrals. Evaluate the pros and cons of seeking positions in the private or public sector. If you get a decent offer, accept it. Once you are in the country, it will then be easier to look for better openings.

6. Can I set-up my own business?

This is best done after really studying the market and knowing the region’s business culture. Again, this knowledge comes with experience which you can gain by working for another company for the first year or two.     
 

EXPENSES  

7. What costs will I incur during my first year?

Get an estimate range for house rents, furniture, household appliances, school fees, conveyance, fuel, medical services, utility bills, etc. Ensure you have enough money to settle in, not just to get there.

8. What hidden costs do I need to consider?

Anticipate a variety of side expenditure in the form of mandatory insurances, getting driver’s license, ID cards, even buying drinking water, etc.

9. How favourable will my currency’s purchasing power be after conversion?

If spent wisely, your pounds or dollars can stretch quite far.

10. Do I have a safety-net to fall back on?

Despite planning, your situation could still turn sour due to some unforeseen event. It is prudent to not put all eggs in one basket.   
 

FAMILY ISSUES 

11. Is my spouse happy with the hijrah decision?

If migrating with a spouse, it is vital to ensure that she is willing, if not happy, to take this major step. A reluctant partner will add to the stress of settling by magnifying and complaining about even minor issues.

12. Can I marry after migration?

Singles who hope to get married after hijrah need to find out about the local laws or customs. In some countries, while not illegal, the laws and cultural norms discourage marrying a national. There are no restrictions to marriage between expatriates.

13. What options are available for my children’s education?

This major decision needs to be made after considering many factors, but you will be able to gauge the standards of schools through the testimonials of other parents. If you are homeschooling, find out if it is an accepted option.   

DOMESTIC AND LIFESTYLE CONSIDERATIONS   

14. What standard of living will I be able to afford?

Depending on the country you are migrating to and from, anticipate some change - be it an upgrade, downgrade or simply, a different way of life.

15. Would buying a car be necessary or will public transport do?

In some countries, public transport is expensive or unreliable. Consider renting or buying second-hand. Getting a car on Islamic finance is an option in many Gulf countries.   

16. Should I pack my household appliances?

It is best to leave such items behind, as they would be useless without a converter. You can easily get everything secondhand or buy new. Otherwise, be sure to pack adaptors for your appliances.

17. Can I continue with my prescription drugs?

People with chronic conditions like hypertension or diabetes need to find out the availability, cost and possible alternatives for their medicines. Also, inquire about any banned substances from the embassy.    

SOCIETY 

18. Will I face a language barrier?

There are many countries or cities where you can get by communicating in English but some places could be frustrating to live in without knowing the local language.

19. Is the majority population’s Islamic ethos consistent with mine?

It will defeat the purpose of hijrah if you end up in a country where you have to swim against the current to practise your religion.

20. What level of culture shock should I expect?

Despite making pre-hijrah trips to the new country, there will still be some degree of culture shock when you finally settle. Minimise the shock by having realistic expectations with regards to inevitable differences and being open to learning.   

21. Will there be a sense of community and belonging?

The social setup in the West forces Muslims to geographically group together and to set up close-knit communities. In Muslim-majority countries, families tend to live as independent units scattered far and wide. The nature and frequency of your socialising will depend on where you live.   

Finally, after making all efforts from your side, trust and rely upon Allah (SWT) to guide and bless you in your sacred endeavour. 

Huma Imam is based in the UAE.  She regularly interacts with new immigrants arriving from the West - a trend that, she says, has gained momentum in the recent years.

Life coach Sayeda Habib looks at ways to improve your communication with others in the second in our three part series.

We explored how to improve your own inner communication in the previous issue. We are now going to take things forward and explore how to improve our communication with others.  It is our responsibility to manage our communication with others, particularly in challenging situations. So let’s discuss a few tips to build upon this very important skill. 

Tip 1: Put yourself in the other person’s shoes:

This is particularly important when you need to have a challenging conversation with someone. Imagine that the person is sitting in front of you and you are about to say to them what you are feeling. How would they feel upon hearing these particular words? This exercise can help you to notice the impact of what you are about to say. You may find that the communication may be seen as hurtful or be misunderstood. Take a little time to rehearse the words ahead of time. But what happens if you need to react in the moment? The best thing to do is to pause, reflect and then speak. Remember, words cannot be taken back once spoken and the impact can remain in the long term. This exercise may be difficult in the beginning, but it will allow you to honour other people and say what you would really like to say.  

Tip 2: Focus on yourself, not others.

You might find the title of this tip a bit difficult. After all, being a good Muslimah requires us to pay attention to other people doesn’t it? But consider this: have you ever known someone who uses their communication to 'guilt' other people into doing things? Perhaps they may give someone the silent treatment or an ultimatum. Would you consider that communication effective? Effective communication is about being heard and understood, not manipulating an outcome. Having good communication skills does not guarantee that others will do what we ask of them. Remember that every person has his or her own thoughts and they are entitled to practise their free will. Remember that you only control your own thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions and you can never control anyone else. This will allow you to focus on yourself when a situation arises where you feel hurt or upset. Ask yourself what it is about that situation that is in your control. Is there something that you can do to make it better? What you make of the situation is up to you.  

Tip 3: Differentiate between a request and a requirement:

There are times when we would like others to co-operate with us. Knowing that we cannot control anyone apart from ourselves doesn't stop us from needing others to work with us, does it? We rely on Allah SWT for all that we require, but He has also made us the means of fulfilling the needs and desires of one another. So what do you do when you require something of someone? The key is to know whether this is a requirement or a request. A necessary requirement is when what you are asking must be delivered; in other words it is non-negotiable. This may well be relevant for certain things. For example, it may be unacceptable to you that your child uses certain language with you. A request on the other hand is something that allows a person to say yes or no to doing it. When the answer is no, then it is to be accepted. The person may not say no directly, but they may not do what has been asked of them. A request in essence means that you will accept the result without opposition. A person can feel it when something is a request; they sense the freedom and the permission. Remember that over ninety five per cent of our communication is non-verbal. Know when you are requesting something, and when it is non-negotiable and inform the person accordingly. This may not sound like the most polite thing to do, but it makes your communication a lot more honest. You know where you stand, and so does the other person. You can state your requirements in language that is respectful but direct.

Tip 4: Use "positive" language:

Stating our requests or requirements may be more difficult than it appears. You might be clear about what you don't want, but not so clear about what you do. "Positive" communication is not about being upbeat all the time, nor does it mean that you cannot tell someone if something has upset you. "Positive" refers to how the brain hears language. For example, if you tell your child "don't spill the milk" you might find him spilling the milk the very next moment. This is because the brain does not register "nots". So, it would have to imagine spilling the milk and then negate that, but by then it is too late. Tell the person what you require directly. Tell your child to "hold the glass with both hands" and the message is more likely to be understood. Direct communication often worries people because they do not wish to offend. However, if you communicate with respect and regard, the essence of that will shine through. For example you could say "I demand that you clean your room" to your teenage son. Or, instead you could say "I am expecting you to clean this room now before you go out. This is non-negotiable." What is said in a calm and respectful tone will allow you to honour the other person and be clear in your communication.

Tip 5: Manage your expectations:

I have a client who came to be very worried about his mum. He didn't know what to do because his mum was calling him at work several times a day complaining about one thing or another. This was really affecting his work. He knew something had to change but he did not want to break ties or be disrespectful. His mum was relying on him for all her emotional needs. He came to realise that he needed to establish some boundaries with his relationship with his mum, but in a very loving and supportive way. We talked about a plan to move forward, and his relationship with his mother has since improved. Relying on other people for support is natural, but remember that other people have their needs and limitations too. If you place all your hopes on someone else, you might well be disappointed. Remember; first rely on Allah (SWT), then on yourself. Of course, there are some needs that you cannot meet on your own such as companionship and human connection, but you can learn to create your own sense of self worth. Also be clear about what you are offering in return. When you manage your own needs appropriately, you will find that your relationships with others will also flourish.  

Improving our communication skills takes practice. I hope that you will implement these tips. Remember, keep trying different things and you will know when your communication is being heard. Start by listening to others and you will find them more open to hearing you. 

Sayeda Habib is a Life Coach. She was featured in Rapport Magazine, ARY Digital Television, and has been a presenter on the Islam Channel. To get in touch with Sayeda log on to www.makelifehappen.com, call 0845 077 4027 or email Sayeda@makelifehappen.com

From forging a sense of community to providing an iman boost, the benefits of attending a weekly halaqah are many. Fahmeeda Gill shares seven good reasons to get you out of your house on the path of knowledge.

When was the last time you attended an Islamic talk or listened to a khutbah? In many areas, mosques are not even accessible to women, while children and childcare may make some courses out of your reach. Learning is still an obligation on every Muslim, and your weekly sisters’ halaqa may be your solution and inspiration.

The Arabic word ‘halaqah’ means a ring and it is used to refer to a circle of Islamic knowledge. Historically, the transmission of knowledge usually took place in the masjids, a practice that can be traced back to the Prophet (S). This tradition was preserved by the Companions (RA) and their successors and scholars throughout the history of Islam up until the present day.

Many ahadith extol the virtues of halaqahs as well as the etiquettes that should be observed. Moreover, this has been one of the main ways in which women learned about Islam from the outset. As a hadith tells us: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allah (S) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, the men have taken all your time; give us a day when we can come to you and you can teach us what Allah has taught you.’ He said, ‘Gather together on such and such a day in such and such a place.’ So they gathered and the Messenger of Allah (S) came to them and taught them what Allah had taught him” (Bukhari and Muslim). 

If that is not enough, here are 7 more reasons to inspire you:

1. Seeking knowledge is a duty upon every Muslim: How much time do you set aside for learning the deen? For most of us, life is a blur of work and/or studies, family, housework, salah, some Qur’an and the odd talk. There are ample opportunities to learn about Islam via the internet or Islamic books. However, these methods are not an adequate substitute for attending a halaqah. Alone, you are more vulnerable to the ploys of shaytan, not least of which is procrastination in the face of other “more pressing” priorities. In addition, when leaving your home to learn, you are rewarded for every step you take in the pursuit of knowledge.
2. Benefitting from the blessings of the circles of knowledge: "Whenever some people gather in one of Allah's houses(mosques) to recite the book of Allah and study it among themselves – then calmness (tranquillity) descends upon them, the angels surround them, mercy covers them, and Allah mentions them to those who are with him”  (Muslim). Subhanallah, how many of us are striving to benefit from this hadith?
3. Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil: The Prophet (S) said, "By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, you either enjoin good and forbid evil, or Allah will certainly soon send His punishment onto you. Then you will make supplication and it will not be accepted” (At-Tirmidhi). This duty is incumbent upon all of us especially given the trials we are witnessing at present. Most of us may revile what we see in our hearts, but feel ill-equipped to challenge and make a change. Attending a halaqah will give you both the knowledge and confidence to make a difference – and to do so with wisdom.
4. Forging a sense of sisterhood: A hadith tells us that on the day of Judgement, seven groups of people will be under the shade of the throne of Allah. Among them will be “two (people) who love each other for the sake of Allah, meeting and parting for that reason alone…” (Bukhari). Halaqas are a wonderful way to get to know and to love your sisters in Islam.
5.  Akhlaq and Self-Discipline: Instead of fitting your life around deen, you will learn to organise your life around your commitment to the deen in general and learning in particular. This can enable you to develop a positive competitive spirit towards learning. Group activities encourage you to learn and observe the etiquettes of gatherings, to interact with different personalities and to encourage only positive speech. 
6. Iman Rush: As you establish the commitment to attending and take your learning seriously, taking notes etc. you will immediately feel your iman is boosted. Just being in the company of other righteous sisters can inspire and humble you and make you grateful for the favours of Allah (SWT).
7. Most beloved deeds by Allah: "The Prophet (S) told us that these are the most regular constant deeds even though they are few (Bukhari). It is hard to sustain our efforts to learn consistently and we tend to have periods of activity and long periods of inactivity unless we are incredibly self-disciplined. Even if we multi-task, listen to talks or Qur’an as we cook, we still hit blips or have interruptions. A weekly halaqah offers a regular space for you to learn at a steady pace and this knowledge can be reinforced by immediately sharing what you learn with your family.

What are you waiting for? I am praying to Allah (SWT) that you will now be motivated to get to your local halaqah or, if you are homebound, to find an online halaqah.

Huma Imam shares how a chance meeting with someone opened her eyes to the unacknowledged miracles within us.  

He fidgeted uncomfortably on his seat as he nudged his elbow to discreetly push back the loop of a plastic tube that was sticking out from the side of his wheel-chair. I lowered my head and pretended to re-check my audio-recorder in order to give him time to adjust himself, without the embarrassment of being observed. 

Brother Salim* is a paraplegic and he is paralysed from the waist down. I was meeting him for an interview for a local newspaper about life in a wheel-chair. Before our scheduled interview, he had kindly sent me books and videos describing the details of his physical condition as well as the everyday challenges faced by people with paraplegia and quadriplegia. Therefore, I was aware of the purpose of that plastic tube that showed up accidentally. That tube was part of a urinary catheter. 

The interview went fine, but I returned home a changed person. His story kept resonating in my mind. A sea diving accident had turned his life around: from an energetic air traffic controller to a sedate office worker; from a newly married man to a divorcee; from a physically fit athlete to a wheel-chair bound invalid.

"Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return" (Al Baqarah: 156).

Our Creator tests all of us in different ways. I prayed to Allah (SWT) to grant him patience, and to lighten his burden. I also supplicated to Him to keep me protected from such trials.  

But that meeting had awoken another sensation inside me, a feeling that perhaps began as a faint quiver in my core on first seeing him, then grew to an intense throbbing with the blood flowing in every vein, till it reached a point that rattled and shook my very soul: a humbling sense of gratitude.

"Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?" (Ar-Rahman:13).

My mind was crowded with questions. Have I ever consciously expressed gratitude to Allah (SWT) for my ability to move? Have I truly appreciated my Creator for giving me a perfect body? Have I ever realised that even when I'm sitting, my legs continue to work for me by providing balance? Have I ever thanked my Lord for the ability to effortlessly relieve myself?  

Yes, to be able to answer the call of nature in privacy and with dignity is a great blessing of Allah (SWT), something I had never realised before. Brother Salim, due to his condition caused by damage to the spinal cord, is unable to feel when he needs to go to the bathroom so he has to wear a catheter. And when he does go to the toilet, he requires the help of a nurse to clean him.  

I remember a saying of one of our pious predecessors: "If a man is able to drink and expel a sip of water with ease, gratitude becomes due on him." Putting all other infinite attributes aside, I pondered and focused over just this one aspect of my body's blessings and it left me in awe.

"And in your creation, and what He scattered (through the earth) of moving (living) creatures are signs for people who have Faith with certainty" (Al-Jathiya: 4).

As a child I had been taught to utter the words of dhikr before and after going to the bathroom. I knew their meanings, but over the years, the remembrance had become a mindless reflex action. That is, until that day. Today, when I utter the word "Ghufranaka" as I leave the washroom, my mind is attentive and aware of the meaning, and my heart is humbled and filled with gratitude at the realisation that many have to suffer the pain of indignity and shame for this natural function of the human body.     

Realisation is the first step towards true thankfulness. "No blessing is bestowed on a slave and he realises that it is from Allah, but the reward of giving gratitude for it is written for him..." (Patience and Gratitude by Ibn Al-Qayyim). 

I owe my Creator the highest gratitude, so I aim to busy myself with ways of expressing it. The Messenger of Allah (S) said: "There is a (compulsory) Sadaqa to be given for every joint of the human body (as a sign of gratitude to Allah) everyday the sun rises. To judge justly between two persons is regarded as Sadaqa, and to help a man concerning his riding animal by helping him to ride it or by lifting his luggage on to it, is also regarded as Sadaqa, and (saying) a good word is also Sadaqa, and every step taken on one's way to offer the compulsory prayer (in the mosque) is also Sadaqa and to remove a harmful thing from the way is also Sadaqa" (Bukhari).

                                            ------------------------------------ 

* Name changed to protect the privacy of the individual 

Huma Imam is a U.A.E. based freelance writer with qualifications in Home Sciences. She has experience in voluntary work with Islamic centres and occasionally speaks at sisters' halaqas.

With so many of us living urban lives, it can be easy to lose touch with the creation of Allah. But, by using all our five senses and encouraging those around us to do the same, we can reconnect with the natural world around us - and be reminded of Allah's bounty every day. 
 
Indoors...

1. Open your windows each morning to allow fresh air to waft through your home. Breathe in deeply and fill your lungs with this abundant blessing first thing in the morning. 
2. Keep fresh flowers in the house - they don't have to be expensive or store-bought: wild flowers from your garden will do nicely. 
3. Buy potted herbs and grow them on your kitchen windowsill - harvesting fresh herbs for your cooking is a real treat. Don't forget to savour the aroma... 
4. Eat more raw foods - experiment with fruits and vegetables in smoothies, salads and as is: your body will thank you for it! 
 
Growing 
5. Get your hands dirty and get growing! Herbs are an easy place to start: cress is child's play to grow and is delicious in sandwiches, salads and even soups. 
6. If you can, grow your own fruit and vegetables in your garden, on your balcony or rooftop. Get the kids involved and observe the cycles of growth and renewal and enjoy yummy natural food! 
7. Encourage your children to grow plants indoors and to take responsibility for them. 
 
Animals 
8. If you have the space, try keeping animals like a cat, rabbits or chickens. Get the whole family involved in getting to know them and caring for them. Birds and fish also make pleasant additions to the family and introduce children to animals. 
9. Visit farms and mini zoos where you can touch and care for the animals - get used to being at close quarters with animals like rabbits, goats, sheep and horses. 
10. Get to know about the wildlife in your area - do you have foxes, badgers or hedgehogs visiting your garden? Get to know about them with the family! 
 
Birds and butterflies 
11. Learn to listen out for birdsong and get to know the different birds' voices. 
12. Install a feeding tube, birdbath or birdhouse to attract birds to your home. 
13. Plant a butterfly flower patch to encourage butterflies to visit your family. 
 
By night 
14. Educate yourself and your family about the moon's cycles - watch out for the new moon and observe it as it waxes and wanes. 
15. Camp in the garden and record the sounds on tape. Look up at the stars and try counting them! 
16. Savour the power and beauty of natural phenomena like the sunshine, rainbows, clouds, rain, storms, lightning, and snow. 
 
The great outdoors 
17. Make it a habit to get fresh air on a regular basis - early morning or early evening are ideal times to tune into the call of nature. Share these moments with your family but by try to steal some time to enjoy a few quiet moments on your own. 
18. Make visiting places of natural beauty - parks, lakes, rivers, reserves - part of your family's routine. Take the time to get your feet wet or dirty! 
19. Go on nature walks and make displays with your foraged treasure - seeds, pods, leaves, flowers and shells all make beautiful natural decorations. 
20. Collect and dry your own flowers - make wall art or cards and gifts with your children and give them to friends and family. 
21. Try to take at least one rugged holiday with your family - caravans, camping, trekking, country or beach cottages are all wonderful alternatives to hotels and commercial holidays. 
22. If you travel abroad, take time away from the hotel and city life to appreciate the beauty of Allah's creation in its multitude of glorious forms.

What does hijrah mean to you? Do you dream of the day when you will be granted the honour of migrating to a Muslim land purely for the Sake of Allah (Swt)? Now ponder this… how many of you hope and dream of making the ultimate hijrah – that of your heart?  Umm Thameenah reminds us of the importance of the forgotten hijrah – the hijrah to attain an Islamic character.

The migration of the heart to Allah (Swt) is a strong requirement, if not an obligation, upon every believing servant. Correcting the heart is a fundamental aspect of our migration to Allah (Swt), for it is a beautiful struggle performed on a daily basis.

The heart is the spiritual container – the inner port – with the ability to harbour all that is good as well as all that is evil. It can either positively affect or severely corrupt a servant’s actions. As the Prophet (S) taught us: “There is a lump of flesh in the body – if it is set right and made good, the entire body becomes good and healthy; but if it becomes diseased, the entire body becomes diseased. Remember well – it is the heart” (Bukhari).

The goodness evident in a person’s actions is as a result of what emanates from the heart. Thus, a sound heart will in turn produce sound beliefs and actions, whereas a corrupt heart will only serve to be a means of destruction. Following one’s desires is an evil that leads a servant to insincerity, a major disease of the heart.

Being in control of one’s self paves the way for beautiful relationships to blossom. It is not from the character of a believer to violate the rights of others, neither is it to be concerned with the vices of others. Thus, one should not go out of their way to look for, or to ‘discover’ faults in others, especially when one’s own character bears witness to internal faults and weaknesses. The ‘ibaadur-Rahman' - servants of The Most Merciful (Swt) - are those who are constantly concerned with purifying their souls and immersing themselves in performing numerous good deeds, due to fear of their own weaknesses and shortcomings.

“For those who act with excellence is the greatest good, and even more. Neither darkness nor humiliation shall afflict their faces. They are the people of the Garden, dwelling there forever" (Yunus:26). 

As humans, we cannot harbour 'perfection', however, striving to perfect our character is what is really required. This means reflecting upon ourselves and working to nurture, refine, and polish the content of our character in order to emulate the beauty of this blessed deen. 

"In the Messenger of Allah you have a good example for him who hopes in Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much" (Al Ahzab:21).

The Prophet (S) was the epitome of Islamic character. He lived for Allah (Swt); accepted His decree and acted upon His command. The Prophet (S) harboured the best of the best of qualities, and as he loved for us what he loved for himself, he advised us to uphold the same. Such qualities as sabr (patience), istaqaamah (steadfastness), yaqeen (certainty), tawakkul (trust) and taqwa (God consciousness) are all from the most praiseworthy qualities in the sight of Allah (Swt). Thus, if our claim is love of our Creator (Swt), then our behaviour toward and with other servants of Allah (Swt) should always be of an exemplary example, imitating the Prophet (S) in every given opportunity, in order to ensure a life that shines with the reflection of what it is we claim to love. This does not mean that we appear as angels, perfectly faultless, rather, it means that we sincerely strive to nurture and beautify our characteristics purely for the sake of pleasing Allah (Swt) - as a means of serving Him. 

The nourishment and cultivation of the heart requires a number of tasks and particular applications that will enable realistic spiritual and physical changes. Merely glancing at a problem and pruning the edges as opposed to uprooting it will only bring about short term solutions to life long problems. Rather, we should reflect and re-evaluate ourselves, our hearts and our souls and implement the appropriate steps specific to each of our situations. 

Living a life in which we claim to be Muslimaat, strive to be Mu’minaat and yearn to be Muhsinaat is an automatic avenue to unlocking the ills that prevail within ourselves and within our societies. Living as a servant of the Most Gracious means to live a life of humble servitude, which in turn breeds sincerity in our hearts, justice between other souls, and most importantly, the fulfilment of our ultimate purpose: to worship Allah (Swt). Knowing our Creator (Swt) brings one to know the inner-self, knowing one’s inner-self means to find true inner peace, and the discovery of true inner peace is to find our heart and soul’s true happiness.  As He (SWT) says “…hearts find peace in the remembrance of Allah. It is in the remembrance of Allah that hearts find peace” (Ar Ra'd:28).

So sisters, migrate – migrate with every atom's weight of your heart and discover your Magnificent Lord (Swt). Through the refinement of your character, your heart will find inner peace and true love, thus enabling it to migrate to The Only One it truly yearns to be with - Allah (Swt) - its rightful Owner and true Beloved. 

 - '...reflecting upon ourselves and working to nurture, refine, and polish the content of our character in order to emulate the beauty of this blessed deen...'

This article was submitted a week after the writer and her family made hijrah to the heartland of Islam. May Allah (Swt) keep her and her family ever inspired by those who left their footsteps on the ground on which they now walk and ever increasing in love, faith and guidance.

Oh heart in need of Divine guidance, shine! Shine like beams of light reflecting the jewels of our blessed deen. Wherever your soul may travel and whatever land you may traverse, always let the beauty of what you love, be what you do. For only then, will your heart come to know who and what it really is.