We expect the young to bury the old, children to bury their aged parents. But there are those mothers who never get to see their children smile, comfort them when they cry, because Allah, in His wisdom, has greater plans. They are the mothers of Baytul Hamd:

  Abu Musa reported that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said "If the child of a servant (of Allah) dies, Allah says to His Angels, "Have you taken the child of My servant?"

The Angels reply: "Yes."

Allah says to them: "Have you taken the fruit of his heart?"

They reply: "Yes."

Then Allah says to them: "What did my servant say?"

The Angels reply: "He praised Allah and said: "To Allah do we return."

Allah tells them: "Build a home for my servant in Paradise and call it Baytul Hamd (the House of Praise)." (Tirmidhi) 1

 AYESHA

Stillbirths, silently slipped away

Ayesha, my sister and close friend, had two stillbirth children, both fully formed. It was when she saw her doctor for a routine check-up that she was told that they could not detect a heart beat. Her child had died in utero. After the shock had settled, she realized that she still had to go through labour and delivery. She describes this time:

 "Initially, just after they told us that our son had died, I went into 'auto-pilot'. I knew I had to get on with the birth and that, somehow, my husband and I had to be strong enough for each other to get through those 23 hours of labour. I must admit, I had secretly hoped that they were wrong, that when he was born I would hear him cry. And when I didn't hear it, perhaps then the magnitude of it all hit me."

 From the outside, it would appear that this would have been a time of trauma and anguish. Ayesha contradicts this when she says:

"I never expected the peace I would get from gazing at my child. I keep thinking of that verse in the Qur'an: "Grant us spouses and children who will be the coolness of our eyes"  (Quran 25:74) The only time I felt peace was when I held my son and cast my eyes upon him that day. I was in total agony until that point - I felt as though I had literally died. But then I held him and that all changed. There was just peace as we held him and looked at his features.

"For the next few days, I was in a daze. I started producing milk, as my body registered that it had gone through delivery. I was overcome with a grief so severe that it would literally take my breath away. I couldn't see an end to it. I remember crying constantly for weeks.

 "I knew that Allah had a bigger plan, I wished that I understood - but realised that I couldn't. I knew that the only way out was to make dhikr. And so I called upon Allah, His names on my tongue constantly: "Ya as-Salam, Ya al-Lateef, Ya ar-Rahmaan". I wondered why, after weeks of dhikr, peace had not descended. During these weeks, I attended a lecture in which a hadith was related to us: When Allah places a trial upon His servant, and the servant turns towards Him, calling out to Him, then Allah asks Jibreel (AS) to delay responding to the request, because Allah loves to hear the voice of His servant supplicating to Him. So, I persisted in my dhikr, and one day, after my salah, I felt as though peace just descended upon me, suddenly. And after that moment, I began to cope."

 Ayesha fell pregnant the next year, and when, at 32 weeks she could not feel movement, she went to the hospital. Again, the baby had died in utero. After the initial shock, she took charge, giving instructions for a birth plan. After her husband broke his fast, they turned to Allah in prayer begging for His help. On that 20th night of Ramadhan, she went through labour and gave birth to their daughter. Those with them in the hospital speak of the peace that descended on the room that night, with the verse "With every difficulty, there is ease" playing out before their eyes. (Quran: 94:5)

 "My husband and I had spoken about the possibility of losing the baby before we found out she had passed away. And I was better prepared in that I knew what would bring me immediate peace - to hold my baby. And that's what I asked for immediately. With this pregnancy, I made a decision. I didn't know if Allah would ever grant me motherhood in this world again. So I told myself that I had only a few hours to enjoy my child. And that included the labour. It sounds strange, but I thought of my labour as a duty of motherhood - the only one I would get. And it would be those labour pains that my daughter will mention to our Lord on the day of Reckoning in the hope of interceding on my behalf, insha-Allah.

 Again, she began to produce milk. "I had the battle scars, but nothing to show for it." The grief came, but this time there was a peace that carried them through.

 Through these difficulties, I have seen my sister grow, in wisdom and insight. In her usual pragmatic style, Ayesha advises: "Our trials are about more than just us. It is about our relationship with Allah. Try to focus on that, and insha-Allah, the rest will follow. Who knew that my daughter would be born into such peace? Not me."

TASNEEM,

The sudden loss of a healthy child

            Waseem was a happy, healthy baby. One day, while eating, he began to  choke on his food. His mother Tasneem, a trained nurse, could not dislodge the morsel, and rushed him to hospital. Waseem was 11 months old when he returned to his Rabb.

 "Losing Waseem was like having something ripped out of my heart. I can't describe the pain. My son was playing normally in the morning, and just a few hours later he was gone. I thought I would never get over it. But as a believer, you eventually come to terms and accept your loss. Your imaan is the only thing that takes through.

 "We were so weak on that day, physically and emotionally drained, but there were periods of strength that could only have come from Allah. He gave me the strength to perform the ghusl myself, bathing my child who once would be so active and playful during his bath time.

"When they came to take his body, the Imam told us: "Allah gives, and Allah takes, and Allah makes no mistake." He spoke to us of how our child would wait for us, and intercede for us before Allah one day.

 "For my husband, the most difficult part of that day was the burial. It was hard carry our son to the grave and throw earth on him, and harder still for my husband to walk away and leave him. That night, it was cold and it rained. I struggled to come to terms with him being alone there. I was still nursing him, and my body still produced milk.

 "But Allah is not cruel. He does not take something away from you without carrying you through your trial. He gives you whatever you need to get through your pain. For me, comfort came from the hadith of our Prophet (SAW). Our Imam would visit us for months thereafter, and bring with him books of hadith, and he would read to us.

 "We heard the hadith in which Rasulullah (SAW) said that he saw Prophet Ibraheem (AS) in a dream, in heaven surrounded by the children of the believers. This comforted me to know where he was, and to think that he was being cared for by Ibraheem (AS). 2 (Bukhari)

 "I was inspired by Umm Sulaym (RA) whose husband was not there when their son died. When he returned and asked her how the child was, she replied that he was calm and better than before. The next day, she told him that Allah had only taken back what He had lent to them. I was inspired by her acceptance. 3 (Bukhari)

 "The pain never really goes away. But every time I felt I was falling, Allah picked me up again.

 "I think Allah has blessed my husband and me. He has promised Jannah to parents in exchange for the pain they suffered at the loss of their child." 

Mariam,

Final return after undiagnosed illness

 At three months, Yusuf needed to be hospitalized. Tests were done and the results sent to universities and hospitals across the world, but no diagnosis was made. At six months, Yusuf returned to his Rabb.

 "I think Allah created a special part in a parent's heart for each child. And when my son died, I felt that that part of my heart had also died with him. The funny thing was that acceptance came quite early on mingled with relief that his pain was over. We were surrounded by friends and family. Often, I had to sit and listen to people who, though well-intentioned, managed to give the worst possible advice and make such inappropriate comments. Crying at what seemed an inappropriate time was a big no-no, – it was seen as a sign that I was not 'having sabr.' I wish I'd been told that it's okay and normal to cry at any time, to sometimes be angry, to not want to see or talk to people at times.

 "But after three months, the visits stopped, and everyone continued with their daily lives. And the reality hit, that my husband and I were the only ones who had to pick up the pieces. I was devastated when my mother-in-law was asked how many grandchildren she had, and she excluded my son from that count! I also realized that my own parents were concerned for me and what they saw me go through, rather than experiencing real grief for my son. But then my husband spelled it out: that this was our struggle and our grief, upon the two of us, and neither our parents nor our other children would be a part of it.

 "I never questioned Allah's authority, but I needed to understand why my life had taken this direction. I learnt to look inside of myself, to question what I saw in my own heart, where I needed to improve. The answers were not always what I wanted to hear. Still, the answers came: I felt Allah respond to me. And I grew. Anything less would have meant that my son's life was in vain." As Mariam said this, the prayer of the Quraan came to mind: "Our Lord, You have not created this in vain. Glory be unto You. And save us from the punishment of the Hellfire." (Quran, 3: 191)

 "Whenever I hear of parents that have lost a child in our community, I go and visit them after the funeral and I sit with them and share my own experience.  I tell them never to despair that Allah is listening and that He will answer our questions, sometimes not in the way that we expect but always in the way that we need them answered.

 "It's every person's wish that they do a good enough job in the raising of their children to ensure that the children enter Jannah. There is a certain degree of contentment that at least one of my children is already there."

 TEARS AS MERCY

 Islam prohibits wailing, or any exaggerated display of grief such as tearing of clothes. We are also cautioned to be careful of what we say at times of trial. However, as the example of the Prophet (SAW) shows, tears are a normal part of grief.

 Rasulullullah (SAW) was tried with the loss of all his children except Fatimah (RA) during his lifetime. He left us with an example of surrendering to Allah even as grief weighs on our chests and numbs our reason. When his son Ibrahim (ra) took his last breaths, the Prophet (SAW) held him close, smelled him and kissed him. When his eyes flowed with tears, the companions asked: "What is this?" not expecting the Messenger of Allah to be grieved at the decree of Allah. He replied: "The eyes tear, the heart grieves, but we will not say anything other than what is pleasing to Allah," meaning that while the heart grieves, we do not question the working of Allah. Then he addressed his son, and said: "We are indeed grieved at your loss, Ibrahim." 4 (Bukhari)

 STORED TREASURES

 How do we say goodbye to a child? We say goodbye with the hope of being reunited in the life hereafter. Rasulullah (SAW) said: "Allah says, "I have nothing but Paradise to give as a reward to my believing servant who, if I take the life of his dear friend (or relative), he is patient, and anticipates his reward."5 (Bukhari)

 We say it with a prayer: "Allah, make him a forerunner, a reward, a stored treasure and an intercessor on our behalf." 6

 And we trust in Him when he says: "Give glad tidings to those who exercise patience. When they suffer a trial, they say: "To God do we belong and to Him will we return". They are those who upon them are the blessings of their Lord, and Mercy. And they are those who are guided." (Quran, 2: 155-157)

 REFERENCES:

1. Narrated by Abu Musa, in Tirmidhi (Hadith No. 922 in Riyadus Saaliheen)

2. Narrated by Samurah ibn Jundub in Sahih al Bukhari (Hadith 1320)

3. Narrated by Anas ibn Malik in Sahih al Bukhari (Hadith 1239)

4. Narrated by Anas ibn Malik in Sahih al Bukhari (Hadith 1241)

5. Narrated by Abu Hurayra in Sahih al Bukhari (Hadith 32 in Riyadus Saaliheen)

6. This is the prayer read during the Janazah salaah of a child. A version thereof appears in Chapter 114 of Sahih al Bukhari

Making Hajj Dreams Come True - One Pilgrim At a Time

  When Sarah Long accepted Islam eight years ago, she knew little about Hajj ,the annual pilgrimage to Mecca. She would have never dreamed that she would one day help pay the way for Muslims to fulfill this sacred rite. She speaks to Amira Elghawaby about helping others uphold the fifth pillar of Islam, all while awaiting her turn to do the same.                       

From the leafy suburbs of her hometown of Virginia, USA, Sarah Long got the inspiration to send Muslims half a world away on a trip that would change their lives forever. She founded a non-profit organisation called 'Journey of Your Life' and raised enough money to send one couple for Hajj last year, all expenses paid, and is now aiming to send twelve more Muslims this year.

This means she and a team of volunteers are working to raise about $72, 000 online and through local fundraising events. In an interview with SISTERS, she reflects on her mission.

Q: So how did you come to be the founder of a project like this? 

A: The inspiration came to my husband and me last year during Ramadhan when we were leaving a halal restaurant in Virginia.  Once inside the car he started to praise Allah for all the many blessings in his life.  He actually opened the sunroof to the car to get a clearer view of the sky while giving thanks.  Smiling, I told him the best way to thank Allah is to do what He has asked of you by performing the fifth pillar of Islam, Hajj.  [This] eventually led to how we could help other Muslims, perform this once in a life time journey ... This is how "Journey of Your Life" came to be.

Q: How does it work? 

When we started 'Journey of Your Life' a year ago, we wanted to send Muslims in need. But then as we watched our project grow, we didn't want to exclude any Muslim so we decided that all Muslims are welcome, that all Muslims who feel they are ready for Hajj can register online. About thirty to forty-five days before Hajj, 'Journey of Your Life' will hold a public draw [to select] twelve Muslims.

Q: You mentioned that the organisation is non-profit - however, it must be difficult to devote the necessary time to it. Do you foresee it becoming a professional organisation with paid staff in the future? 
 
Insha Allah one day, but right now I do not work and have the time and dedication to devote to running this non-profit. My husband is a successful car dealer here on the East coast. He says Allah blesses him financially so that he may give back to others less fortunate. Whatever we fall short of raising, he has offered to cover the rest. However, I am very dedicated to raising the funds through hard work because it feels right and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Q: What sort of budget are you dealing with now? 
 
Since I have his backing, I am able to get all the necessary supplies needed (computer, materials, etc.) to run my non-profit. I do everything myself by running my own website, making all the flyers, logos, etc., to save money. I even have all my friends help out every Friday without pay because they love being a part of 'Journey of Your Life'. Being a part of this project gives everyone involved a sense of peace and happiness after we've raised money every week to help a fellow Muslim go to Hajj.

Q: What did you think about Hajj when you first heard about its importance in Islam? 

When I first heard about Hajj, I never in all my twenty-nine years thought that I would be a part of something so great.  I knew it was one of the five pillars, but not much else. I knew we were required to go, but never really thought much more about it.  Over the past year and a half, I've felt my life become redirected to what is really important ... and (feel strongly that) Muslims should not wait for the "perfect" moment to perform Hajj and (should) try to go as soon as possible because we never know when our life may end.

 Q: How do you feel about the prospect of going someday? 

I can't wait to go one day.  I can't get enough of the videos and pictures showing Hajj in full motion.  The beauty of it all typically brings me to tears. I can't wait for the day I know that it's my turn to go.

Sumayyah Meehan helps you pack for the most important journey in your life.

 “Pilgrimage thereto is a duty men owe to Allah, those who can afford the journey; but if any deny faith, Allah stands not in need of any of His creature” (Aal-Imran: 97).

When planning your Hajj, there is a lot to consider. First, you have to decide what to pack so that you will be prepared for any eventuality but, at the same time, you need to keep it to a minimum so that you won’t be overloaded with unnecessary things. Second, you must determine what are the most essential items, like documentation and medication, and avoid taking things that are going to slow you down. After all, the Hajj journey is all about leaving the trappings of this world behind. The last thing you want to do is lug unnecessary items around with you on the most important trip you will ever embark upon.

Small Travel Pouch-

This should be a small yet sturdy fabric pouch that you can wear firmly around your waist, under your Ihram since theft is unfortunately rampant during the Hajj journey. Keep your most important essentials in here, including: 

Ø      Airplane Ticket;

Ø      A photocopy of your passport and visa, since your passport will be handed in to the “Unified Agents Office” on arrival;

Ø      Shahada certificate (if you are a revert to Islam from a non-Muslim country, you may be asked to provide proof of Shahada. This can be obtained from your local Imam);

Ø      Your Hotel Address (written in English and Arabic);

Ø      Medication;

Ø      Cash;

Ø      Glasses, hearing aids, contact lenses.

Your Suitcase

For the five days of Hajj, and travelling between Mina, Muzdalifa, Arafat, back to Mina and Makkah, you will require a small to medium lightweight suitcase that is easy to carry. A backpack is ideal. Anything larger is going to be a major hassle for you to carry around.

But before packing, let's look at what you will be wearing for the five days of Hajj. As a woman, Ihram is easy, so you need to set aside one full set of clothing that will go on your body as your ihram. Keep this on the side.

Into your suitcase will go:

Ø      A second full set of clothing (underwear, pants, abaya, hijab, socks, etc). The emphasis on Hajj is to forget about your physical appearance, so more clothes are unnecessary.

Ø      A light-weight sweater or a shawl that can double as a blanket for the cool nights in Muzdalifa;

Ø      A small hand towel;

Ø      An extra pair of slippers/sandals;

Ø      Unscented lotion or Vaseline;

Ø      Unscented sunscreen;

Ø      A small umbrella: a light-coloured one will reflect rather than absorb light;

Ø      Small flashlight;

Ø      Toilet paper;

Ø      Tooth-brush, miswak and tooth-paste (although you can only use the latter after you come out of ihram);

Ø      Snacks, such as energy bars, dried fruit and nuts;

Ø      Refillable water bottles;

Ø      A spray bottle is indispensable for making wudhu when getting to the taps is difficult in the crowd;

Ø      Hajj manual, a small copy of the Qur’an and books with du’as, etc.  

Ø      Check with your travel agent if they will be providing meals and blankets, otherwise you may need to take a sleeping bag/blankets and disposable plates;

Ø      An old sheet; which many sisters have found useful as a cover as well as for dividing a tent and creating a barrier from men should the need arise;

Ø      Essential medication and a small first aid kit containing Band-Aids, painkillers, etc;

Ø      Toiletries such as deodorant for when you come out of Ihram.

Carry-on Iman

This is not a physical bag but rather what you carry in your heart as you embark on your Hajj journey. The most important thing to take with you is Taqwa, a conscious fear and reverence for Allah Almighty who says in the Holy Qur'an: “And take a provision (with you) for the journey, but the best of provisions is righteousness ‘Fearing Allah’. So fear Me, O ye that are wise!” (Al-Baqarah 2:197).

Other items to ‘pack’ include your intention. Why are you going for Hajj in the first place? The answer to that question should be to please Allah and fulfill His rights upon you. Another vital item to add in is provision. Not earthly provisions like you packed in your suitcase, but rather provisions for your soul, which include piety, obedience to the rites of Hajj and consciousness of the fleeting nature of this world and sound belief in the World to come.

Now that your bags are packed and sitting beside the door, all you have to do is remember to be cautious during the Hajj journey for the sake of your own safety and the safety of other Hajj travellers. Remember not to waste a minute of your time during this monumental trip as it will be over before you know it.

7 Steps to Increased Iman 

By Sumayyah Meehan

The Prophet Muhammad (S) said: "Faith wears out in the heart of any one of you just as clothes wear out, so ask Allah to renew the faith in your hearts” (Mustadrak al-Haakim). 

Our Iman is not always as sound and strong as we want it to be as it often fluctuates according to life circumstances. There are several causes for weakening Iman such as deficiencies in our prayers or the insinuating whispers from the Shaytan. Regardless of the cause, it is crucial for all of us to keep a check on our Iman and if we feel it is faltering in any way then we should take measures to restore it. It is our responsibility to know which things decrease our Iman and how to avoid them and those that increase our Iman and how to embrace them.

Here are 7 ways that you can brighten your Iman starting today! 

1. Recognise and Repent  

All humans commit sins no matter how hard we try to avoid them. Engaging in evil deeds decreases our Iman. Actions like lying, cheating and stealing, to name only a few, take a toll on the human heart which makes us more susceptible to being lead astray from the Path of Allah. It is important for us to reflect upon our deeds and weed out the ones that are contrary to the teachings of the Holy Qur’an and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (S). Allah has gifted us with an innate sense of justice and the ability to reason and make sound judgements. Our fitrah (natural disposition) necessitates that we all know when we are committing a sin. And if we don't know, we certainly have a bevy of resources to find out from!

2. Perform Salah Regularly 

Completing the five daily prayers, on time and according to the Sunnah, is an excellent way to increase our Iman. Not only are we performing an obligatory deed when praying, but by doing so we have a standing audience with the Creator of this world where we can ask for help and mercy. The effect of the salah on the human soul is cooling as Muhammad (S) once said that it cooled his eyes. The salah connects us with our Creator and, along with obedience to Allah, helps us to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil. 

Allah Almighty says in the Holy Qur’an:

"The believers are only those who, when Allah is mentioned, feel a fear in their hearts and when His Verses -this Qur’an- are recited unto them, they (i.e. the Verses) increase their Faith; and they put their trust in their Lord (Alone); Who perform salah and spend out of that We have provided them. It is they who are the believers in truth. For them are grades of dignity with their Lord, and Forgiveness and a generous provision (Paradise)” (Al-Anfal: 2-4).                                                            

3. Qur’anic Recitations

Medical studies have shown that simply listening to a recitation of the Holy Qur’an has a physiological effect on our bodies. Research has also proven that the Qur’an has healing qualities on the body, mind and spirit. What better way to increase your Iman than to listen to a recitation of the Holy Qur’an on an audio device! Listen to the melodious rhythm of the Qur’an and while doing so try to reflect upon the meanings of what you are listening to.

4. Engage in Dhikr  

"…Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." (13:28)

Remembering Allah much through acts of dhikr brings peace to the heart. It also gives us a sense of taqwa, a consciousness that makes us realise that Allah Almighty is ever near and that we should always strive to please Him. Some beneficial dhikr include: 

Subhan'Allah- 'Praise be to Allah'

Al-Hamdullilah- 'Thanks be to Allah'

Allahu Akbar – 'Allah is the Greatest.'

5. Voluntary Fasting 

Fasting can be thought of as a prescription for us, which cures the maladies of the human soul. There are innumerable benefits to fasting nawafil fasts. Fasting helps us be thankful to Allah for His Bounty, control unlawful desires, have compassion for the less fortunate and it weakens the effects of waswas, the insinuating whispers from the Shaytan. 

6. Carry Out Good Deeds 

Doing good deeds for others can be like switching on a light bulb in a darkened room. No matter how awful we are feeling there is just something about offering a helping hand to someone in need that lifts our spirits and brightens our Iman.

Allah Almighty says in the Holy Qur’an: "For those who believe and work righteous deeds is a reward that will never fail” (Fussilat: 8).

Types of good deeds that any of us can fulfill include acts of dawah, feeding a poor person or donating something of value to charity. Not only does the deed benefit another person but it also benefits our own souls by polishing up our Iman.

7. Trust in Allah 

The best way to increase your Iman is to completely submit your will to Allah by following every command in the Qur’an and Sunnah. Live your life according to them and you will find success around every corner. Turn to Allah in times of distress and be thankful to Allah in times of bounty. Have patience in Allah's Decree and always remember that no matter what trials or tribulations we face in this World, one day we will be called to account for our deeds which were hopefully sent forth with much goodness and patience.

Share your own list of “7 Things to Improve Your Iman” on our Forum, SISTERSPEAK.

Got girls' night planned for Eid? Or simply dinner with close family? Regardless of the occasion, if it's a hijab-free zone, Eid offers a wonderful opportunity to look gorgeous and glamorous. So, beware the pitfalls and plan ahead, as Sumayyah Meehan explains.

It happens every single year. The clothes you bought are too tight. Your new shoes are the wrong shade of blue. Your new hair cut looks like someone attacked your head with a pair of scissors while you were sleeping. Don’t let another Eid come and end in disaster! Avoid the fashion ‘faux pas’ and malfunctions once and for all by preparing ahead for Eid.

The Clothes

Don’t wait until the last minute to buy your Eid clothes. Buying clothes can be stressful and it takes time to find the right style and colour. Ramadhan is a golden opportunity to engage in increased acts of prayer and worship. None of us wants to waste a minute of this precious month trying on clothes and standing in line at the store.

Do Start brainstorming about your Eid outfit before Ramadhan even begins and take the time to shop, without dropping, in the weeks prior to the beginning of the Holy Month. By relieving the stress of buying your Eid clothes before Ramadhan, you can spend the entire month in obedience and worship of Allah without having to bog yourself down racing all over town to find clothes to wear on Eid.

The Hair

Don’t get your hair cut or streaked the night before Eid. This is just begging for disaster to strike! Salons may be overworked and understaffed on the day of your appointment. And do you really want to trust your locks to someone who is groggy and wielding a sharp pair of scissors? 

Do get your hair cut a full week prior to Eid. Hair does not grow THAT fast so getting a haircut or streaks a little earlier than normal will not make a difference at all. And in the event something does go wrong, like the bleach turns your hair green rather than blonde, you will have a full week to get it fixed. 

The Face 

Don’t rely on the old make-up that you have been accumulating for the past few years. More than likely these shades are outdated and will make you look like a throwback to the 90’s rather than the stunning diva that you are. Make-up expires and using outdated things can cause you to have a massive breakout. Or worse it will make your skin look discoloured when you are standing in natural light. 

Do investigate the latest make-up trends. Buy according to what you need and make sure everything you select is ‘Hypo-allergenic’ which means it is friendly to your skin.

The Venue

Don’t repeat the same mistakes on Eid that you commit every year. Amusement parks are way over-rated and often expensive. And you certainly don’t want to waste valuable time waiting in line. Public parks are out too as the activities are typically very limited and the last thing you want to deal with on Eid is the refrains of, “I’m bored,” over and over again from your kids. 

Do walk the road less travelled this Eid. Instead of doing the ordinary, why not do the extraordinary? Spend your Eid doing something fun and unexpected like jet skiing with friends or taking a ‘road trip’ to somewhere you have never visited before. Dare to break out of the norm and make your Eid one to remember! 
 

The Eid al Fitr holiday comes but once a year. The celebration of the end of Ramadhan is an exceptional time to connect with friends and family.  Be thankful for the bounties you received during the month of fasting and have a blessed Eid!

“And pilgrimage (Hajj) to the House (Ka’bah) for Allah is a duty upon mankind, for whoever is able to find a way there”. Aal Imran 3:97

If you are one of those blessed individuals who has been able to find a way there, then you must take the time out to prepare before you make this important journey. Once you have made that intention to go for Hajj or Umrah, always remember that this is a call from Allah and a duty that He has commanded you to fulfil. Do not be fooled into thinking that pilgrimage has come about for you because you have decided or because your annual leave falls perfectly in the month of Dhul-Hijja. It is from Allah, He has chosen you from amongst the many Muslims and truly, this is His mercy upon you.

On remembering our obligation, it is vital that we must not take our pilgrimage lightly. Our love for Allah and his call to us has enabled us to make this trip – so we must make the most of it! It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘From one Umrah to the next is an expiation for whatever came in between, and an accepted Hajj brings no less a reward than Paradise.’ (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1773; Muslim, 1349). So preparation is paramount, this is a trip of a lifetime one which we may only be able to take once. We must therefore do what we can in advance to have a good pilgrimage and InshAllah may Allah accept it and grant us Paradise.

On understanding its importance, we need to make this trip as stress free as possible, we need to make it easy and comfortable so that we can focus on its sole purpose – Jannah! Going for Hajj and Umrah is not an easy process as one would like to imagine. The trials and tribulations can begin straight away. Don’t be nonchalant, everything you do to prepare will reflect on your time spent in Makkah and Madina so be thorough in every aspect of your planning.

Problems do occur. Commercially, there is corruption within the industry and as consumers we can get stung. Being Hajj and Umrah we automatically put our trust into people in the industry however, there are rogue travel operators out there, some not appropriately certified to sell travel packages, some that sell visas that are actually free and some who just don’t care to honour the service that they promise. Logistically human error can lead to problems too, some of which we can avoid such as fires, stampedes and illnesses and some that are unfortunately out of our control for instance road accidents, collapsing hotels (yes, you read right!) and theft.

The key to a successful trip therefore is plenty of planning, research and preparation so that we can InshAllah avoid the many problems and situations that can arise and it is vital that we put plenty of time, effort and energy into it. The more we learn - the more we become aware. The more we organise - the smoother our trip will be, leaving us time to perform the rituals correctly and concentrate on our cause. And so, as a Pilgrim there are a number of things that we must know and do to get the most out of our Pilgrimage;

Buying a package:

• Don’t buy a travel package from a company who is not ATOL registered and is not licensed by the Ministry of Hajj
• Do make sure that you get full details of your package before you purchase, questions to ask;

What type of accommodation is on offer?

How long will you stay in Makkah and Madina?

Does the package include transfers to and from Makkah and Madina?

How far away is the hotel from the Haram in Makkah and in Madina?

How many people will share the hotel room with you?

Does the price of the package include meals at all your places of stay?

• Do confirm that any special requirements will be met for example disabled facilities, lifts in hotels and dietary needs

• Do make sure you have a written copy of your terms and conditions including your itinerary and take it with you on your trip

Keeping well:

• Do make sure that you are in the best of health, take plenty of exercise before hand and know that there will be a large amount of walking involved, the climate will be much warmer too

• Do inform your GP that you are going. Check that you have the required vaccinations or top ups for your pilgrimage and that you have your vaccination cards with you

• Do make sure that you have taken enough quantities of your medication to cover you through the Hajj/Umrah period if you have a pre-existing illness. Medication should be clearly labelled for each individual

• Do make sure you have good quality footwear as you may have to walk long distances

Staying safe:

• Don’t take excessive, bulky luggage with you.

• Do make sure you mark your luggage with your full name and contact address

• Do keep valuables and important documents safely with you, perhaps in a pouch around your waist. Be especially careful of thieves at all times including during salah and tawaf.

• Don’t use cooking facilities outside any kitchen areas as fires can easily start

• Do follow the Saudi official regulations

• Do use the designated tunnels when going from Mina to the Jamrah

• Do avoid crowds and go at quiet periods when you go for the stoning and

• Don’t carry your luggage with you, follow the one-way system and do not push

Getting help:

• Do check out the many services available to the pilgrim/traveller on the internet;

http://www.fco.gov.uk/hajj

http://www.berr.gov.uk

http://www.nhs.uk

http://www.atol.org.uk

http://www.holidaytravelwatch.net

• Do keep a note of important telephone numbers whilst on your trip such as;

British Consulate-General, Jeddah - (02) 622 5550
Ministry of Hajj Jeddah, - (02) 665 5811
Ambulance - 997
Police - 999
Traffic Accidents – 993

Fire - 998

Most importantly on all issues, don’t rely on hearsay and other people and don’t blindly follow. Take the time out to find out what Hajj is about, learn what to expect and what to do to prevent problematic situations. And InshAllah, may you all have an easy, comfortable and successful pilgrimage!

A sister share her memories of her Umrah last Ramadhan

At the airport, our hopes of spending Ramadhan in Makkah and Madinah as a family turned into a disappointment so poignant that I can still feel it today. My husband and I had enjoyed a Hajj with our teenage daughters two years earlier, and one of the joys of our Hajj was to see it through the eyes of our twin girls. We were now excited at the prospect of spending Ramadhan in the blessed cities as a family. But as we checked in our luggage, the officials discovered that the girls' passports had expired. We had looked at the passports, they had gone through the hands of the travel agent, the hands of the Saudi embassy, but none of us had picked up on that small detail.

Friends and family scurried to try to arrange for emergency or temporary passports from the immigration officers; to ask the Saudi embassy for assistance. They apologized for issuing visas but overlooking this one essential detail. We returned home, broken.

A scholar came to our home and sat us down. He told us that either four of us would all miss the opportunity to go for Umrah, or else two of us would go and come back to share the experience. What better gift could we give them, he asked us, than our prayers? The girls came to us later that evening and told us that this was not meant to be for them, but that they still wanted us to go.

So, four days later, my husband and I departed a second time, but this time with very different emotions and intentions.

 There are some aspects of Umrah that are too personal to share. Seeing the Ka'bah for example, is one of the spiritual peaks of your life, but it is too deep an experience to describe to others, so I will leave it to you to experience this for yourselves, insha Allah.

We entered the Haram just after the first Tarawih prayer was competed. Tawaf was easy, and we completed it within an hour and a half. But sa'i (between Safa and Marwah) took over three hours. Sa'i was difficult because of the crowds, particularly at the hills when you turn around and are basically pushed along. With the marble, the air conditioning and the lights, it is hard to imagine the anguish of a woman who needed to find water for her and her baby to survive, her loneliness and her sole reliance on Allah. But it is essential that you focus your mind so that the spiritual metaphor of the sa'i can touch your soul. So much of the Hajj commemorates Prophet Ibrahim (AS) but the sa'i that is a pillar of the Umrah commemorates one woman, Hajar (RA), her sacrifice and her trust. When I drank Zamzam, I was drinking the water of that sacrifice!

Makkah pulsates. The pace is fast and you are on the go all the time. The atmosphere at Iftar is completely different to any other time of the year. The Saudi government and nation are exemplary hosts, and food for iftar is abundant and generously offered. My husband and I would break fast near Safa, where people were completing their Umrah. You could see the exhaustion in their faces, and it was so wonderful to be able to share our Iftar with them. We found a Pakistani restaurant close to the Haram, where there were lines of poor people. We took the money we would have spent on the girls, and gave it to the restaurant, asking them to give food to the poor.

The qirat of Tarawih flows into your soul. I had learnt Arabic while in my thirties, with sufficient grammar to translate the Qur'an. If I did not understand Arabic, I would have been caught up in the beautiful recitation, which is so therapeutic. But understanding the Arabic text of the Qur'an enabled me to focus on the words and the ayat of the Qur'an, and I would lose myself in their meaning, asking Allah to let them touch my heart. When we had studied the Qur'an, we also studied the asbabun nuzul, the contexts and circumstances in which certain ayat were revealed. And here I was standing, in the very city were many of those verses were revealed!

 Like everyone else in the crowd, when the Imam makes his dua in the Witr prayer, you find your arms stretched out, pleading and begging Allah, while you sob and weep. At the end of the Witr, I was drained from crying. And no-one notices your tears, because everyone around you has wept with you.
Those of us who come from developed countries try to stay as close to the Haram as we can. Others, however, have the best accommodation in Makkah. Before Qiyamul Layl, as you come into the Haram, you find that there are people sleeping there, on the carpets or even on the cold, hard, marble. Besides them are a small pack of their belongings and it dawns to you that they eat, sleep and wake up in the Haram. You see the serenity etched on their faces as they sleep. You realise the hardship it took for them to get there, but you see the peace that Allah has given them in return.
After Fajr, people leave the Haram tired from a night spent in worship. We found this to be the quietest time to do tawaf, while sunlight streamed in and the Haram glowed in the light of a new day.

IN THE CITY OF THE PROPHET (S)

We spent the last ten nights in Madinah. We made this decision based on logistics, as the price for accommodation in Makkah multiplies for those last ten days. Next time, I hope to do it the other way round, insha Allah.

We arrived just before Asr salah, and spent the evening in the Haram. Food was laid out, with laban, qahwah, dates and Zamzam, and people pulled us to share their Iftar. Hearts like these I had never seen.

 The next morning, I queued to visit the Rawdah, to go and make salaam with my Prophet (S). Three trips to Madinah, and I still feel the same: overwhelmed, stuttering my greeting, feeling humbled at the grave of the Best of Mankind (S). 

In the last ten nights, Qiyam al Layl is prayed in jama'ah, wherein three juz of the Qur'an are recited. During the Imam's dua in the Witr prayer, people cry just like in Makkah. But this time, the tears flow in silence, everything is more subdued and quieter. In the city of Allah’s Chosen (S) everyone behaves with dignity. On the 29th night, the recitation of the Qur'an is completed. You wish for another recital to begin, another chance to make Tarawih. Where else in the world will you hear the Imam pray: "Oh Allah, on this blessed night, in this blessed month, in this blessed city …" and you realise just how blessed you have been.

EID IN MADINAH
I thought I would leave for salatul-eid at around Fajr time. But one of the friends I made in Madinah told me to meet her at three a.m. I didn't understand why she wanted us to be there that early. We met in the crisp air of the courtyard, amidst crowds of people. Everyone was silent and in prayer. When the doors of the Haram opened, we streamed in quietly. The first thing that hit me was the smell of ood. The Haram had been cleaned until it sparkled. It looked like a bride on her wedding day! This was Laylatul Jazaa – the night of prize giving that Allah has promised the believers for a month of worship.

Before you know it, it is over. Once you come out of the Haram, it is a normal day. At home, the atmostphere would have been jovial amidst friends and family, but here in Madinah, you feel bereft at the loss of Ramadhan, as if someone you love has left. We were in tears.

My husband knew my attachment to my girls, and that they would have been my companions on this trip. Without them, he took it upon himself to be my companion, to walk me to and from the Haram. We became closer for the opportunity to be together on that Umrah.

The girls were in our prayers all the time. But I also realised that had they been there, my focus would have been diverted and I may have decreased my Ibadah. Instead of spending my Ramadhan with them, I spent it with my husband, I spent it with the ummah, but mostly, I spent it with Allah.

Ibn Abbâs relates that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) asked a woman from Madinah: "What prevented you from embarking on the Hajj pilgrimage with us?"

She replied: "We had two camels. My husband and child took one and left the other for the rest of us to ride on."

The Prophet (S) then told her: "When the month of Ramadhan arrives, go for 'umrah, because `umrah in Ramadhan is like accompanying me on Hajj" [Bukhârî].

Eating the right foods can have a positive impact on your mood. Azizan Rauf gives you the low-down on the link between food and mood and what to eat to beat the blues.

Whether it's down to work, relationships or financial issue, life can be challenging and stressful at times. Scientists say that while an unhealthy diet can make you feel low, eating the right food can dramatically boost your mood and help you feel more positive. So, you can minimise negative feelings like depression, anxiety or stress by adding key foods to your daily diet. One recent report by two charities, the Mental Health foundation and Sustain, found a direct link between an unhealthy diet and depression. According to the report, high fat and high sugar diets could even be influencing the rate of mental illness in the UK. It is important to seek medical help if you suffer from depression or anxiety but at the same time your low mood will benefit from the right nutrition.

The link between food and mood

Certain foods trigger chemical changes in the brain and affect blood sugar balance and therefore affect your mood. The brain is an incredibly complicated organ, which explains why what we eat affects its performance. Believe it or not, the brain is mostly a great big lump of fat. In fact, it is 60 per cent fatty acids including DHA and AA. These fatty acids are important in influencing how your brain functions. Foods high in DHH and AA are fish, meat, milk and eggs, especially free range. The brain tissue is rich in minerals so it is important to include plenty of minerals in your diet especially zinc and iron which is important for normal brain function. The question is: how can you regulate mood swings and increase positive feelings through your diet?

Oily Fish

Research shows that people who eat a high fish diet are less likely to suffer from the blues. In fact one study in the Lancet found wide differences in the rates of depression between countries that ate a high-fish diet, like Japan, and those that did not, like New Zealand.
It's no wonder that low fish intake has been linked to an increased risk of seasonal affective disorder (SAD), pre-menstrual depression, post-natal depression and even suicide. Make sure you stay positive by eating at least two portions of oily fish a week. This can include sardines, mackerel, salmon and fresh (not tinned) tuna.

Vitamins and minerals
These are vital for stress hormone production and nerve health so be sure to include foods which are bursting with the B's. Folic acid (part of the B-Vitamin family) has been proven to reduce depression in several trials. Foods rich in folic acid include green leafy vegetables and breakfast cereals. Vitamin B5 has anti-stress properties and should be included in our diet especially at times of intense stress, depression and anxiety. Foods rich in vitamin B5 include peanuts, mushrooms, pecans, soya beans, oats, sunflower seeds and lentils.

Include minerals like zinc and iron in your diet as these are essential for improving mood and are vital for brain chemistry by eating protein rich food such as lean meat, fish, whole grains, nuts and seeds are good sources.

 Protein and Carbohydrate
Eating foods with a high protein-to-carbohydrate ratio is important for upping your mood. For example a portion of chicken with a little rice instead of vice versa could help perk you up because it balances your blood sugar levels and as a result stabilises mood.

For an even more effective way of boosting your mood try eating a complex carbohydrate like wholemeal bread or brown rice with some protein foods with a low GI (glycaemic index) like fish, lean meat or tofu. Low GI Foods help release energy slowly and include porridge, beans, pulses, dried fruit and nuts.

Herbal tea
Coffee, tea and cola drinks all contain caffeine which can disrupt sleep and worsen negative moods in some people because of the effect caffeine has on the nervous system. Try herbal teas instead, which contain no caffeine and can help to soothe and relax. There is a wide variety of non-caffeine teas to suit every taste so give them a go. Peppermint tea and camomile tea are especially relaxing. Camomile tea works on the same part of the brain as anti-depressant tablets so it is a very effective way of balancing you mood. Add a teaspoon of honey if you like it sweet.

Chocolate
Good news! Research has shown chocolate can promote happy feelings, thanks to serotonin, a feel good brain chemical. But the buzz you get can be short-lived and followed by feelings of guilt especially if you have just blown your diet, so just allow yourself the occasional chocolate treat and limit yourself to a few pieces.

Cut it out
Cutting down on food which encourage negative feelings is half the battle when it comes to beating depression or anxiety. Avoid artificial sweeteners and artificial colourings as they can trigger negative reactions just like caffeine when consumed in high quantities.

Foods high in sugar and refined carbohydrate foods like white bread and cakes reduce blood sugar and brain glucose supply. Go for wholemeal or granary bread and cut down on sugar.

By improving your brain health you can maximise and improve your mood significantly. Make your diet more nutritional and you will soon feel the uplifting and healing power of food.

Azizan Rauf is a freelance writer with a degree in journalism, whose interests include Islamic issues, health and well being.

Bint AbdelHamid reflects on how the internet has brought us both closer to and farther away from the spirit of charity.

On the expansive canvas that is the internet, reading the news, searching for information, randomly browsing its pages, I see it. It is the picture of a dark-skinned child, African I think, hunched over in hunger, in agony, in hopelessness, body emaciated. The child – hairless so that I can’t tell if he’s a boy or she’s a girl – is so thin, skin wrapped tightly around the bumps and pokes of bones too-small. 

I wonder what photographer could have captured this image without shattering the lens to his own heart, without lying down, curling up, and weeping in guilt over all the extra-helpings and excessive dinners eaten over the years. I wonder what photographer did not drop everything, search for food, give up her own lunch, pull it out of her own mouth, in order to feed this child. So much skin and bones on someone so small is devastating enough in picture; to see this child in person seems like too much to bear.

This child I am describing, this child whose image haunts the public domain of the internet and the collective conscious of mankind, is not new to me. I have seen this child before, elsewhere, and I am not surprised to hear that you have, too. It is the same child. It is the same child, I tell myself, the same image, for to think – to realize the truth – that this state of existence belongs, not to a single child, but to nations and generations of children is also too much to bear.
 
Perhaps it was too much to bear. Because it seems the internet has not been entirely oblivious to this child who could have been our son or our daughter had Allah only decreed it to be so, may Allah protect us and our children. The expansive canvas that is the internet expands further, with new pages and new scenes, new ways to raise awareness and ease the pain of the child. I travel across it and find new sites. These are sites that encourage charity and helping those in need, facilitating monetary donations by easy transfer from bank accounts, encouraging the collection of supplies, food, clothes, books, gathering the resources from people who need only be willing to give.

In particular, a few sites catch my attention. They are a new type of site, ones that allow you to give by simply clicking the button of your mouse. Take these for example: freerice.com, a vocabulary game that donates 20 grains of rice for every entry answered correctly; and a similar freepoverty.com, a geography game that helps donate water, clean water, to people badly in need of it – and who knew that clean water was such an issue?

I pause, and I think these sites are perfect for me. They are convenient and automated, like so much else I am used to in life; they are easy. They remind me to take a break from my normal clicking activities to intend and click a little for a cause. A break from work, they are beneficial to others and educational to me. It is all a win-win-win situation. I rejoice, because I see in the internet a solution to humanity’s twin suffering and guilt. Allah (SWT) says in the Qur’an: “By no means shall you attain piety unless you spend of that which you love” (Aal-Imran: 92).

Elsewhere, Allah SWT describes those slaves of His who will go to jannah, saying that “they give food, in spite of their love for it, to the poor, the orphan, and the captive” (Al-Insan: 8). I recall again that clicking a mouse button requires no sacrifice on my part. Sacrifice is that act of pulling the food out of my own mouth, at a time when I am hungry, and giving it to the starving child.

And contact? There is nothing I can think or say on this matter that the Prophet (S) did not say better. In the collections of Bukhari and Muslim, it is narrated that the Prophet (S) said, “The best of charity is that which leaves you still independent of means, and the upper hand (the one that gives) is better than the lower hand (the one that receives), and start with those who are under your care.” He (S) also said, “Bring the orphan close to you, wipe his head and give him some of your food, for that will soften your heart and fulfill your need” (Al-Silsilah al-Saheehah). When I reflect on either of these traditions, I see in them a command to be near those you are giving to, or perhaps simply to give to those who are near. 

I think back to those sites, freerice, freepoverty, freeotherthings.com, and I think no less of them. What brilliance, to be able to help people I might never otherwise be able to, people thousands of miles away! What creativity to turn it into a beneficial game, an asset to both the giving and receiving ends! Certainly, as long as there are people in need, there is no reason to limit the ways and means of aiding them.

But I think also of contact and sacrifice, those two ingredients that contribute so much to the spirit of charity. I think of what it means to see and know the child behind the heart-wrenching image. I think of how interaction can lend strength to a community, and how sacrifice can bring purification to the soul. I think of all this and I know: I must incorporate these aspects more often into the act of truly giving.

Bint Abdel Hamid is a student of English and Psychology, and hopes to benefit others with what she learns.

Umm Ibrahim, a home schooling mother of eight and developer of several educational websites, takes us through the resources on her website http://tjramadan.talibiddeenjr.amanahwebs.com to make Ramadhan an educational and enriching experience for children everywhere.
 
FAMILY AND PHILOSOPHY
We are a family with eight kids, ages 3 – 15, and one more on the way, from the United States. We have lived in Yemen and Egypt for the past six years.
 
When I first started home schooling ten years ago, we could not afford to buy much in the way of educational materials and there wasn't much available in terms of Islamic material so when I came across freebies, I was ecstatic. That is one thing that has driven me to keep my site updated in the hope that others going through the same thing can have an easier job. So, for me, the time spent developing the sites are worth it.  
 
 I think crafts and other visual presentations help aid retention, as the children are more involved in the learning process because they put thought into creating something. My kids love to go back and look at what they have done, whether a craft, poster, lap book or creative writing assignment, so they are reviewing concepts on their own as opposed to more formal revision.
 
One of the goals for making TJ Ramadhan was to structure our learning to incorporate both secular and non secular subjects into daily lessons.  Before, we would sit down and read ayat from the Qur'an, or ahadith related to fasting, but it wasn't consistent. Now, with the structured lessons of TJ Ramadhan, there is something to learn or review everyday, and that makes a big difference as far as staying in the Ramadhan mood and having more productive days. 
                                                                                                    

GETTING THE FAMILY READY FOR A CREATIVE RAMADHAN
Ramadhan Control Centre
Our Ramadhan preparations start with setting up a Ramadhan Bulletin board. I found that when we started doing this, the whole mood changed. It felt like Ramadhan was coming and that it was something to get excited about.
 
We start off with a large poster board. I print out some letters spelling Ramadhan and the kids colour and decorate them with glitter and other art supplies. We put up our Ramadhan Calendar to mark off the days of Ramadhan. We also have a calendar that the little kids take turns colouring in a picture each day of Ramadhan. And then we just round it off with their artwork that they make during Ramadhan.
 
Ringing the Changes
The behaviour chart is titled, “Faster Behaviour Tracker.” Very appropriately, the hadith on this chart is “He who does not desist from obscene language and acting obscenely (during the period of fasting), Allah has no need that he did not eat or drink” (Bukhari).
 
It takes a few days or so for everyone to try to practise better behaviour during Ramadhan. But the chart is a good reminder for me and when I see the children misbehaving, I remind them that it’s Ramadhan and that although we should have good behaviour year round, it is especially important during Ramadhan. The chart also reminds us of good things that we can be doing to increase our Ibadah.

Ramadhan Blessings Tree 

This idea comes from Sister Blake and is an excellent reminder that we need to thank Allah for our many blessings.
Ø      Cut a tree out of brown construction paper.
Ø      Cut leaves out of construction paper, in green or in autumn colours (you can laminate them in order to reuse them next year).
Ø      Every day your child identifies a blessing in her/his life. You write this blessing on the leave and tape it to the tree after saying “Thank you, Allah, for …”
 
Crafts
Last year, a good friend of mine, Umm Nassim, compiled the 2007 Ramadhan craft book for the website. She was able to get permission from many sisters to post their craft ideas for which I am grateful and there are some from other internet sites. There are several different genres of crafts from calendars to mobiles, lanterns to collages and dioramas to sewing. You can download the booklet from the website.

Get cooking …
Making Ramadhan goodies for iftaar or dinner are always fun daytime activities. On the website are recipes which include Qamar al deen, a sweet drink or pudding made from apricots, to Konafah, a sweet Egyptian dish made especially at Ramadhan.

FUN AND ART FOR THE YOUNG ONES
There are 30 days worth of activities that teach important lessons in fiqh or Islamic studies on the website for the little ones.

Drawing: My kids love to draw. On the website there are printables that offer many artistic opportunities from drawing a suhoor or iftar meal, to drawing designs on prayer rugs in a lesson about the Tarawih prayers.

Colouring: There is a picture to colour with the dua for the host, for those times that you are invited out, and these make great hostess gifts. Another is of a night scene of the cave of Hira in Jabal Noor, to remind us of Laylatul Qadr when the first verses of the Qur’an were revealed. One poster shows the different ways that we travel, related to a lesson on fasting while travelling.

Journal Pages: A child fasting for the first time can record his suhoor and iftar meal, and at the end of Ramadhan, he can colour in a “certificate” to record the number of days he fasted that Ramadhan.

Mazes: To the Musalla and Back. This was a simple maze to reinforce the concept of taking a different route home from the Eid prayer than the one taken to the Eid prayer.

Crafts: In addition to the craft section, there are simpler crafts throughout the daily lessons, such as a family good deeds mobile. This is a family project where each family member illustrates and writes down one good deed on a card, which is then strung up on a mobile, to remind us to increase our good behaviour, particularly in the last ten days of Ramadhan.

HOLISTIC LEARNING FOR THE YOUTH
The daily lessons were written with my older children in mind.  Themes of the day include making good suhoor and iftar choices, common medical problems during Ramadhan, fasting while travelling or sick, sighting the crescent moon, Ramadhan in history, and more. For example, the lesson for the 30th of Ramadhan focuses on Eid, with a family discussion of how the companions (RA) celebrated Eid, and compares it to how we celebrate Eid today. Something else to discuss would be how Eid is celebrated in different cultures.

On the journal page, they fill in what they ate for suhoor and any medical problems they may have had. They can also keep track of their Ibadah. There’s a daily hadith for copywork and a section for creative writing assignments such as writing a newspaper article about Ramadhan.
I would love to be able to just stop secular subjects during the month of Ramadhan and just focus on the deen, but I always feel apprehensive about doing so because I know when we get back, many concepts and skills will have been forgotten. So, I came up with the RaMATHan and language worksheets. The math worksheets feature word problems with a Ramadhan/fasting theme.  The language arts worksheets (suitable for grades 3-6) review grammar concepts and correlate with the day’s theme.

One of the TJ fans has the following to say: “This Ramadhan will be the third year that I am using TJ with my own children as well as the children that I teach Islamic studies to. Unlike a more professionally developed website, the activities and printables on TJ have an organic, home-made, tried-and-tested appearance.  I am constantly inspired that a mother of eight can find the time to put this much effort into homeschooling her children, and be willing to share it with the rest of us for free. What an amazing sadaqatul jariya!”
 
All the lesson plans, printables, worksheets and craft ideas mentioned here can be found on the website. These are the links: 
http://tjramadan.talibiddeenjr.amanahwebs.com
http://tjramadan.talibiddeenjr.amanahwebs.com/tjramadandownloads/RamadanCrafts.pdf
http://tjramadan.talibiddeenjr.amanahwebs.com/ramadanrecipes.htm
 
Post your own creative suggestions on our forum, SISTERSPEAK.
 

What Khadijah (RA) means to me 

In this, the first in our series on inspirational Muslim women, Heba Alshareef reflects on a night that brought her closer to the example of our mother Khadijah (RA). 

"When I'm forty, I'm going to marry a twenty-five year old," my friend Fatima confided in me. I remember the night she said it so clearly. It was one of the final ten nights of Ramadhan, the probability that it could be the night of power, strong. Most of the Muslims in our small city were camping out in the Masjid, praying, eating, and socialising in the short hours between the conclusion of Qiyam al layl and the Fajr prayer. Fatima and I decided to go outside and talk under the stars. And they were bright that night.  I turned to look at her, straining under the moonlight to read her expression. The seriousness in her voice coupled with the ridiculousness of her statement had me very curious. 

"You're fourteen! What in Allah's name are you talking about?" was my question. This wasn't the first time we'd discussed marriage and we'd both decided that we would be married by eighteen to fabulous (and older) men. Maybe even brothers – so that our best friend status would be cemented by a pseudo-sisterhood. Could she be backing out on our pact? 

"It's just that the Shaykh was talking about Khadijah (RA), the wife of the Prophet (S). She was so amazing, Heba. I want to be like her." 
*****
And as the years have gone by, and as I've studied more about incredible Muslim women and the example they've left for us, I see how, indeed, Khadijah (RA) was amazing.  

From the time she is introduced to us in the study of the seerah of our Prophet (S), Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (RA) distinguishes herself as a shining star. She was smart, beautiful, successful, strong, loving, compassionate, and generous. And she was all of this before she met Muhammad (S).  
She was a supportive wife, a tender mother, an acute business woman, a loyal friend, a noble humanitarian. And she was brave. She saw qualities that she admired in the Prophet Muhammad (S), and proposed marriage to him. The obstacles were plenty; she'd been married and divorced before, he was younger than her, and her employee. Still, their marriage was a blessed one.  
She would stand by him when everyone thought he was going crazy. Khadijah's support manifested itself on so many levels, not the least of which was a strong spiritual connection between the two. When she was alive, the Prophet Muhammad (S) knew the arms of no other woman.  
 
Once, long after Khadijah (RA)'s death, Aisha (RA) got jealous of the Prophet (S)’s constant praise of his first wife and the reverence he held for her friends. Aisha (RA) made a disparaging remark and the Prophet Muhammad (S) said: "I have not yet found a better wife than her. She had faith in me when everyone, even members of my own family and tribe did not. She accepted me as the messenger of Allah, and was the first to become a Muslim. She spent all her wealth and worldly goods to help me spread this faith, and this too at a time when the entire world seemed to have turned against me and persecuted me. And it is through her that Allah blessed me with children.” 
Once, when Khadijah (RA) was still alive, the angel Jibreel came to the Prophet (S), and said, "O Messenger of Allah, Khadijah is just coming with a bowl of food (or drink) for you. When she reaches you, give her greetings of peace from her Lord and from me, and give her the good news of a palace of jewels in Paradise, where there will be neither any noise nor any toil" (Bukhari). 

She suffered losses, including the lives of two young sons, and still her faith wasn't shaken. In fact, the Prophet Muhammad (S) once drew four lines in the sand and asked his companions if they knew what they stood for. When they replied, "Allah and His messenger know best," the Prophet SAW explained they represented the four foremost women of the world. The first amongst them was noble Khadijah (RA), our mother and role model.  

She was formidable in all her roles, and the Muslim woman who seeks to be formidable would do well to look to Khadijah (RA) for the inspiration. How can we, the daughters of Khadijah, emulate her characteristics, those of our noble mother? 

My friend Fatima had the right idea. 
*****

"Okay, I get what you're saying Fatima. But seriously, waiting until you're forty to get married? Maybe the twenty-five year old can be your second husband?" 

She laughed at my suggestion. 

"You know, it's a good time to make dua to Allah," she urged, "It might be Laylat Al Qadr, a night better than one thousand months. Wow! Can you imagine?"  
I've written about my friend Fatima before. She didn't get many months after that night. She never did get married. In fact, she didn't live to witness another Ramadhan.
But she grew in my heart; her life a lesson to make the most of every moment. Her random thoughts, not so random. 

Fatima wanted to be like Khadijah (RA), and as I go on in life, it seems to me that there is no better way to go.  
 
Heba Alshareef is a qualified DiscoverULife Islamic life coach and author of Release Your Inner Queen of Sheba! She blogs at iamsheba.com.  
Visit  www.sisters-magazine.com to read an extract of her book and other examples of her inspirational writing. 

When trials come, as they do, what will the first words on our lips be? To Umm Zayed, the words of the Istirjaa prayer - to Allah we belong and to Him will we return - helped her to reconcile with a sudden and unexpected loss.

We are taught that we should not ask for or seek out tests or difficulties in life. In fact, our Prophet (S) instructed us to "Seek refuge with Allah from trials and tribulations, both visible and hidden" (Muslim). Yet, the virtues and rewards of observing patience in the face of adversity is highly extolled in our deen.

I remember when I first heard the story of Umm Al Momineen, Umm Salamah (RA), in which she narrates the events following the death of her beloved husband, Abu Salamah (RA). The Messenger of Allah (S) taught her how best to respond to her trial, by teaching her the beautiful words of the Istirjaa. She says:
“The Messenger of Allah (S) said: 'There is no Muslim who suffers a calamity and says what Allah has commanded: ‘Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raji'oon. Allaahummaa ujurni fi museebati w'ukhluf li khayran minha’ (Truly! To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return. O Allah, reward me for my calamity and compensate me with something better than it), but Allah will compensate him with something better.

“When Abu Salamah died, I said, 'Who among the Muslims could be better than Abu Salamah, the first household to migrate to the Messenger of Allaah?' Then I said [this dua] and Allah (SWT) compensated me with the Messenger of Allah" (Muslim).  

The inspiring narrative ends on a happy note where she is blessed with a new husband in the person of the Prophet (S) - a prospect she could never have imagined. He (S) was the result of her faith, her patience and her dua at the time of her loss.

As I sat listening, mesmerised, feeling the emotional turmoil Umm Salamah (Ra) went through and reflecting on the power of Allah (SWT), I made a silent dua: "Oh Allah, don't place me in any trial. But if and when you do, for You do as You will, according to Your Wisdom, then guide me to remember You when calamity strikes. Guide me to the Istirjaa. Give me the strength of faith and soundness of mind to pray to you for patience and better compensation at that critical moment.”

"Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil)" (Al Baqarah: 155).

Indeed whatever is destined for us, good or bad, comes to pass. One fine day, the unexpected happened. Allah tested me with a severe personal loss. The precise moment the news of my calamity hit my ears, something amazing happened. In a split second, time froze; my mind called a shutdown and numbed all my senses; blocked all stimuli and detached me from my physical environment. It was as if I was floating outside my body, looking down at the proceeding events.
It was then that I heard my lips murmur "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajioon. Allah humma ajorni fi musibati wa ikhlufli khairun minha."

I returned to the scene of reality. Then the gravity of the blow hit me full force. Yes, the sky did seem to fall. The world did spin around me. The earth did tremble under my feet. Darkness momentarily covered my eyes. The heart wrung and bled. The tears flowed in scalding streams. A dark cloak of intense pain and shock muffled me into silence. 

But, Subhan Allah, all that happened after the remembrance of Allah. Indeed, my Lord had listened to my dua, made years ago. Indeed it was He (SWT) who guided me to the Istirjaa when I could have easily forgotten it in the midst of my shock and grief. And indeed, Allah is Most Loving and Most Merciful to His servants. Indeed it is His Mercy and blessing that He gave me the patience at the first instance of trial.

The scholars have said that if we are guided to patience and to the words of Istirjaa after a disaster hits us, we should thank Allah for this honour. The Qur’an tells us: “… Give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere" (Al Baqarah: 155). Every time I recall that experience, I'm filled with gratitude.

So, did I get the response to the latter part of my dua? Not yet. But I'm confident and positive that He (SWT) will recompense. Allah is to His servant as His servant imagines Him to be. For He (SWT) has said, 'Whatever My servant assumes of Me, that is how I will treat him…" (Muslim).

There are times, yes, when the flashbacks of that traumatic event overwhelms me and I wallow in tears & heartache. But, those periods are short-lived. I immediately remind myself of the special blessing of Allah on me at that time & draw solace & renewed hope from it. And that reminder helps create this warm sensation of me being held securely in a cocoon of His Mercy, Love, Care, Compassion…

I tell myself, "He (SWT) took care of me yesterday and He (SWT) will take care of me today & tomorrow."

 In the meantime, I chant a new dua. A dua to take me to the next level - a superior level, inshaAllah:

"Oh Allah, if and when you decide to try me again, guide my heart to more than patience. Guide me to the state of Ridha (pleasure in God's decree & decision)." Ameen.

An anonymous sister shares her husband’s fight with drugs – and her own inner struggle to find peace. 

When I became Muslim eight years ago, my Muslim boyfriend started practising too. It was wonderful. I fantasised about how married life would be, holding hands through the trials of life and hoping, insha Allah, to make it through the gates of Jannah together.

However, Hassan*’s enthusiasm for the dean began to wane and I realised he was not going to be the kind of Muslim I had fantasised about. By the time our first child was toddling I would often be alone at home while he met up with old friends.

The times when I needed him and he wasn’t around seemed to become more frequent. I became pregnant with our second child. It was during this time that I worried Hassan might be seriously ill. He was losing so much weight. At worst, his 5ft 10 frame plummeted to 8 stone. His clothes were hanging off him and I saw his hip bones protruding toward the skin. I would often hear him being sick but he would pretend he was fine. The day I saw blood in his shorts my instant thought was “cancer”. I urged him to see the doctor but he would brush it away and tell me he was just stressed out with work.

When our new son was only 9 weeks old it all became clear. While cleaning out a spare room, I discovered something that caused me to feel as though the ground had been pulled from beneath me. In my hands were pieces of burnt foil, pungent in smell, with a dirty burnt residue on it. I instantly knew that this was heroin.

My instant reaction was shock. Then it was as if all the puzzle pieces came together. All those times I had seen him take some foil and leave the house, saying it was for sheesha. Or the times when he had left me alone when I really needed him, like after my son was born and I could barely walk up the stairs. I realised why he was unable to get out of bed at the weekends, the weight loss and why he was sick all those times.

It has now been over four years since that fateful day. I have exhausted all options. He has left the home on three occasions. Every time, I consulted Allah though istikhara prayer. Each time I hoped that he would be returned to me in a beautiful state. That he would once again be that loving man, father and husband, but most of all, that he would become a humble servant to Allah.

On each occasion he came home with a truly wonderful disposition. He would start attending the mosque for prayers, even Fajr. His body language was completely different. Honesty replaced lies. He could look in my eyes again. I saw a glimpse of what life could be like. I saw a man who I hoped Allah truly loved. There was peace in our home instead of turmoil.

In these times it was as though Allah was showing us how beautiful this pure life is and we both felt such true happiness. But just one weak moment and perhaps the whisper of Shaitan and it was all undone. The relapses broke my heart all over again.

It has been hard to keep my own character pure. Sometimes anger and rage overtake me. Yet when I cry into my pillow, it is to Allah that I sob. Being reminded that Allah loves the ones He tests has got me through and knowing that indeed after hardship comes ease. I wait for that ease to come insha Allah.  

I often wonder why it is that Allah always returns Hassan to me, only for him to return back to sinful ways after a short time of peace. Each time, I was so willing to give him up forever if that was what Allah was more pleased with. I was inspired by Ibrahim (alayhisalam), who was ready to sacrifice his son out of obedience to Allah. Yet every time I let go, Allah returned him back to me, just as Ismail was returned to Ibrahim.

Each time it was only through the Mercy of Allah that I was able to give it another go. Now, however, I have come to a point where I realise that Allah would not want me to bear such pain. An addict in a family is like throwing a rock into still water. It causes so many ripples in every way. It has been very unsettling for my children. My daughter says she never wants to get married. At their young age, they will base marriage and parenthood on what they have observed in my husband and I.

I have recently gathered the strength to ask Hassan to leave. And this time for a very long time, perhaps forever, Allah knows best and He is The Best of Planners. At times thoughts of my husband can overtake me. By removing him from the home I am able to concentrate on my relationship with Allah and my children.

In all of this I have felt closer to Allah. I feel as though I have lost my husband but I have gained a stronger bond with Allah. Whenever I have turned towards people I have always been let down. It is in those times I know that Allah is my only Wali, Protector and Helper.

Allah only changes a people who change themselves. Now it is down to Hassan. He must seek to get professional help, so please make du’a that Allah puts it in his heart and opens a way for us. I also know that he will never stay clean unless he remains consistent when turning back to Allah.

During my test I have realised that are so many more sisters like me, going through this hardship. I have seen some sisters get stronger and others weaker in their Islam. It is a tough test to go through yet the only way through is by completely submitting to Allah and seeking His Help and Guidance throughout. I pray for all our sisters and brothers who are suffering in this way. May Allah guide us and forgive us all. Ameen.

The Islamic Relief K2 challenge in August 2008 is set to raise money for orphans worldwide. The challenge requires Mota to endure a strenuous expedition consisting of a 2 week trek to the basecamp of K2 reaching an altitude of 18,000 feet. K2 is the second highest mountain on Earth, located in the Himalayan range at the Pakistan and China border. The peak of K2 is elevated at 28,250 feet above sea level and is said to be a tougher trek than Mount Everest.

Zaid Al-Rawni, Challenge Events Co-ordinator at Islamic Relief, is inspired by Mota's challenge attempt. "It's a big one, K2, a very big one. So I find it inspiring that Brother Haroon is going for it."

"It's a great opportunity for me," explains Mota. "The orphans desperately need our help and this is a way we can all make a difference, insha Allah. The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was an orphan himself and we all know the reward for looking after the orphans: to be close to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) in Jannah. And that is a great thing to aim for!"

SISTERS Editor, Na'ima B. Robert said, "When I first read about what Brother Haroon was planning to do on Facebook, I was very impressed- and excited! I thought we could help him to reach and, hopefully, surpass, his target of £10,000 by harnessing the sisterhood and generosity of our readers and other sisters out there."

The Muslim women's magazine is now one of Mota's official sponsors and has pledged to promote his cause to its readers and sisters across the UK.

"I'm just as inspired by SISTERS Magazine's support of Haroon," says Al-Rawni, "It's really great!"

So far, Mota has raised over £7,500 so is well on his way to achieving his target.

"We are raising the stakes a little bit," explains Robert. "We want to challenge the sisters to really take this cause seriously and donate as much (or as little) as they can, to pass the information to others, to tell their friends and family about it, to fundraise locally. I believe that, if we all make an effort, we will be able to raise alot more than £10,000, insha Allah!"

Mota is grateful for the support and enthusiasm shown by SISTERS and acknowledges Muslim women as his primary supporters.

"I've been fundraising since last year and, I have to say, the majority of the money has been donated by sisters. They have been so generous and open-hearted, really digging into their purses and handbags. I think this is a great opportunity for sisters to get involved in a challenge like this because, normally, it is the brothers who are able to participate in these challenges. Now the sisters can really make a difference."

Robert hopes that the SISTERS Challenge will spur sisters into giving even more. "We are throwing down the gauntlet and challenging the brothers: let's see who can raise more! We are confident that the sisters will come tops but you never know..."

Mota agrees: "Maybe this will encourage the brothers to get more involved and dig deeper. I know they can do it - so let's see it!"

Robert believes that the competition is healthy and is, after all, all for a good cause. "We will be encouraging our readers and other sisters we come into contact with to get behind this - in our magazine, on the website, on Facebook, on our mailing list, any way we can! We pray Allah preserves Brother Haroon, makes him successful and accepts all our efforts."

Donations are being accepted online, via credit or debit card, at a secure web address:  http://www.justgiving.com/k2orphans

Sisters are being asked to enter the word 'SISTERS' in the message box when donating to allow SISTERS Challenge donations to be tracked. All funds that are raised will contribute to the Orphans General Fund which supports orphans worldwide with finance,clothing, food, shelter, education and medical care.

Links:
Haroon Mota's Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=8237980839
Sponsors
http://www.sisters-magazine.com
http://www.eurodrive.com
http://www.mesmereyez.com