- Knowledge of and love for Allah and the deen. This is one of the most precious and enduring gifts you can pass down to your daughter, one that will benefit her in this life and the next.
- Memorisation of the Qur’an. No matter how little you have memorised yourself, push your daughter to memorise as much she can. Encourage her and help her to revise. It will stand her in good stead in her life and will be a source of reward for you after your death as well.
- A good example of Muslim womanhood. Most girls look to their mothers for guidance. Embody the characteristics of a strong, faithful Muslimah and she will be inspired to follow your example.
- A sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Instil a sense of confidence in your child by encouraging her skills, talents and personality to develop. Make her feel secure in her identity and show her that she is loved and appreciated. This will have a positive impact on her future relationships and how she interacts with the world.
- A sense of modesty. Instil a love for hijab in your daughter and encourage her to be modest, never boastful or conceited, in all areas of her life.
- Your language. If you speak Arabic, be sure to teach it to her so that she has the key to the understanding of the Qur’an. Also, if you have a mother tongue or speak a second language yourself, pass it on: a second or third language is always an asset, whether in a study, work or social environment.
- A skill that you have. If you are an avid gardener, knitter or love painting, pass your skill onto your daughter. With so many ‘traditional’ skills being lost in today’s fast-paced world, you owe it to her to share your knowledge and pass it on to the next generation.
- Your favourite recipes. Yes, teach your daughter how to cook! Be it from a cookbook, an original recipe or passed down from your mother or even your grandmother, we all have our own trademark recipes: pass them on to your daughter and encourage her to develop some specialities of her own.
- Housekeeping skills. Instil good housekeeping habits in all your children and encourage them to take pride in a neat and tidy home. Pass any tricks or shortcuts on so that your daughter is well-equipped when she has a home of her own.
- Your family history. Give her a sense of her roots and heritage by sharing your family story with her. Acquaint her with her family tree and teach her the lessons learned by the different generations. Hopefully, she will do the same with her children, insha Allah.
What has your mother handed down to you? What would you like to hand down to your own daughter? Tell us about it by leaving your comments here!
Do you want to discuss this article? Why not start a discussion in our forums: SISTERSpeak.
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Assalam alikum,
I just wanted to contibute my suggestion to the website, if it helps.
You can try to make the writing larger and in a more informal way. Sometimes there is a lot of information that you give and it is a long part. So if you make it different text formats, readers can be more engaged and encouraged to read the text.
Your sister in faith
Kamillah Gboyelade
Assalam alaykum, as a mum i totally endorse the suggestions made above. However, I would like to add that it is most important to develop a frienship with your daughter which allows both of you to talk with each other openly about anything under the sun. I think this is very important in present times, when there are so many "non-islamic" influences freely floating around in the media, schools, and society. So it helps if girls feel that they can discuss anything with mum and that mum wouldn't be "lecturing" but will listen and advice as a friend.
I FOUND THIS WEBSITE FIRST TIME BUT I AM HAPPY TO GET ITS INTRESTING AND BENIFICIAL ARTICLE WHICH WILL GIVE MORE GAIN IN OUR FUTURE.I PRAY GOD BLESS ALL THE MUSLIMS AND MAKE THEM GOOD FOR EACHOTHER. AMEN
Bismillah
There is a list of "don't's" as well. Things we subconsciously hand down to our daughters that are negative:
- love of clothes, jewelry and makeup. We must remember that Prophet Muhammad [Allah's peace upon him] discouraged his daughter Fatima [with her may Allah be pleased] from wearing gold. Nowadays, daughters as young as 4 or 5 learn on-the-job from their mothers how to "shop till you drop"! One of the favorite jaunts of mother-daughter duo's is the mall, the supermarket, or clothing/shoe stores.
- love of self-beautification. It is halal to beautify one's self, but not to go overboard. In the East, mothers focus on making their daughters the epitomes of beauty from a very tender age, simply because it is considered the pre-requisite of landing a good marriage proposal. Looks are given more importance than taqwa.
- loathing of in-laws (daughter's paternal relatives). This is the one thing mothers hand down to their daughters sub-consciously, so much so that if a married daughter praises her in-laws in front of her mother, the latter is quick to point out the bad things they have done in order to nullify the praise!
May Allah grant mothers wisdom to raise their children according to Allah's commands. Amen. Thanks for the great article!
My mother "indoctrinated" me in the science of loving God, respecting Islam and its tenets. Looking back, I definitely needed the more firm approach. But hamdullilah, I will always be indebted to her. I remember one day arguing with her about why she felt that I needed to preoccupy with "what I felt being ignorant" an unrewarding regiment involving salaat. She never argued, she presented her rationale, and remained quiet. Her sincerity, and practice, was enough to inspire me to follow her example.
Salaam alaikum my dear sisters. i agree wholeheartedly with this article and would like to remind and encourage mothers not to relent for a second in raising our girls right. there's SOOO much negative and undesirable influence they are exposed to. We must never miss an opportunity to teach our children islam - EVERYDAY. may Allah make it easy.
I thought this article was very nice and informative. However, i must mention if could you change the colour of the ink and make the fonts larger. I am some what put off from reading a lengthy article as the font is not dark enough. Like a previous mum wrote change up the fonts. K
Keep up the good work. Also do you have a counselor who could talk to sisters about personal problems?
Thank you for posting this up. I very much enjoyed reading this and although I am not in a position to marry so therefore no children right now I am very interested in learning so that should that day come Allahu alim then alhumdulila I will be well prepared. :)
Salamu alaikum, I really enjoyed this article and it served as a wake-up call for some things i might have overlooked. I would have loved to share some of the articles with friends. Can you enable readers to send some articles directly from this site to other's emails?
i think every mother in the whole world should be close to her daughter,speak to her,listen to her dreams thoughts like close friends.she should be like her shadow be with her every time and moment to be her soul mate...
Assalamu Alaikum,
I am coming into this discussion of sorts fairly late in the day but really wanted to first of all commend all involved in this effort; it is inspiring in its simplicity of both language and presentation, thank you. My sister recommended this publication and today is my 1st visit. I am enraptured, Masha Allah.
I am a mother of 2 young children; a boy and a girl, who inspire me every moment to try to be better; in all respects. We as mothers (parents) are of course their 1st stop for learning/imbibing anything in life and the sisters' 1st suggestion is the most vital- hand to her a knowledge of Allah & love for her deen. I cannot fault a single one of her beautiful recommendations, May Allah SWT guide us and make it easy. But every single thing on that list is a valuable legacy I for one keep trying to instil in my kids (even numbers 7-9), BOTH of them. I pray Allah makes them and me the better for that.
Jazakhillah Khairan.