“Sexy” becomes, when discussed against the background of Jannah, a trivial matter when understood the way the current culture defines it.
Have you ever imagined yourself being sexually intimate when you are in your fifties? How about in your sixties? I remember the first time I really sat down and thought about this concept. I was interviewing a Muslim therapist for a program I was doing for single Muslims. She said that although physical attraction gets a relationship started, it isn’t enough or what is required to keep it going. She said “How else do you think it’s possible for a married couple in their sixties to still have sex with each other?”. There is something beyond that youthful body; that while it is beautiful and full of life, it isn’t the only component that creates sexual attraction in a committed couple.
“Sexy” becomes your feminine touch that is full of energy and life. It absorbs who you are as a person, the light that shines from your eyes, and your presence and full submission to the moment you find yourself in. It is looking into your husband’s eyes and he into yours and knowing that your love is beyond this world, and insha’Allah, a love that will continue with even greater intensity and splendor in the next, in Jannah. No matter how you look in this life, in Jannah your piety, haya and worship will transform you into the most beautiful creature your husband has ever seen!
“Sexy” becomes, when discussed against the background of Jannah, a trivial matter when understood the way the current culture defines it. “Sexy” might stimulate a man, but it will never fulfill him on its own. Sexy clothes, high heeled shoes, low cut dresses, and skin tight jeans may indeed be sexually alluring and have their place in your closet if the style suits you, but it is not enough nor required to secure true happiness, significance, and sexual satisfaction for your husband (despite what the media wants you both to believe.)
When understood against the greater backdrop of a sensual, sexual, and secure woman, it becomes just one part of what makes you beautiful to your husband, and an even smaller part of what increases sexual satisfaction for the both of you. If we believe our current culture, then you are left to believe that at a certain age, you can be pretty sure your husband is going to stop desiring you, because you will be too “ripe” for his tastes. No wonder botox, plastic surgery, and the lap-band are so popular. It seems to be that the only way to “secure” your husband’s loyalty and lowered gaze is to spend your entire lifetime trying to remain twentysomething.
That isn’t fulfilling at all, is it? Not if you consider the definition I am putting forth.
Sexy is being able to fully surrender to your husband during an intimate moment.
Sexy is your ability to receive his attention and for him to grant you pleasure and happiness in the bedroom.
Sexy is when you are free to love him from the depths of your being, without losing sight of the fact that your intimate experience is an act of worship and deserves certain rights and guidelines.
Sexy is unscripted, unplanned, and unrefined; it’s a raw expression of emotion.
Sexy is the way you touch him according to what feels good to you.
Sexy is a freedom not a confinement.
What your husband desires, above all else, is to see you freely enjoying your intimate space together, expressing your pleasure to him, and allowing him to equally express himself. His significance reaches its peak when he knows that he has given you a truly satisfying experience. Imagine how beautiful, confident, and lovely you would feel with such an experience.
SISTERS resident marriage coach and founder of Wives of Jannah, Sr. Megan Wyatt, has released two books on the intersection of sexuality and spirituality specifically for Muslim women: Greater than “Sexy” – The Muslim Wife’s Guide to Discovering What’s Greater than “Sexy” in a Spiritually Conscious Marriage and “Will the Angel Curse Me?” -The Beginner’s Guide for the Muslim Wife To Enjoying Sexual Intimacy After Trauma and Finding Support in Her Marriage. Both titles are available via www.wivesofjannah.com